14 thoughts on “Dementia care

  1. Hello, I don’t believe you can give care. Care must be received. You can give someone a product or a service, but you can’t give care. In order to give it, it must be a transaction. I give you this care in the form of a product or a service, and you receive it as I intended to give it. You are free to accept it but not as I intended. I will probably hurt my own feelings if you don’t act like you appreciate the “care” I just gave you. After all wasn’t it with the purest of motives? wasn’t it give out of my love and care for you? didn’t I invest my own time and effort and give it to you?

    If we realized care is in the eye/control of the beholder and not the giver perhaps we would be more receptive, more open to finding out what the other person really wanted at this moment. How the other person understood my own motives. How we were both invested in this transaction.

    Just sayin, Richard


    • As always my friend, it is wonderful to hear from you, and I love the sign off, ‘just sayin…’

      Thanks for your considered comments about the word care, which in many ways I agree with. In the context of my poem, it was meant more about people with dementia having to live in (assisted) residential aged care, rather than the ‘care’ specifically, and how if they don’t know they need to live there (nursing home), and don’t want to be there, they may with good reason, be resistant. I suspect this is what causes so many ‘behaviours’ – not the symptoms of dementia, but the lack of understanding many do not wish to live in assisted aged care facilities.


  2. Unfortunately some don’t even get “cared” for but abused.

    But it isn’t always the fault of the institution. Sometimes it’s the patient because dementia can cause emotions to go out of control. And sometimes they are so dangerous that they must be heavily sedated lest they put themselves in harm. Sometimes the patient has to be protected from themselves and it’s nobody’s fault. Scary.


    • I know what you are saying… BUT… I do believe if others knew how to comkmunicate with people with dementia better, then a lot of the ‘behaviours’ would disappear, and heavy sedation would not be needed. Scarey just the same, especially the lack of person centred care for so many.


  3. Such an insidious illness….Gets you both coming and going. Thank God for folks like you Kate fighting to make things right! Hang tight. Use the energy of the super full moon tonight to push forward! Love..VK xxoo


  4. I know that “We live until we die” in many ways. And, I want to maintain life as a free person who can choose appropriatly as long as possible. But, even now, I notice significant lapses in memory which make me believe that I am diminishing in some ways. Even such things as balance and sight are sometimes affected. Memory loss has many ways of manifesting. Also, I think that truly “living” has a relation to retaining “core life”, whatever that means.


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