Alone in a crowd (#2)

Crowded in by people
Many of whom seem not to care
Most who barely know me

Too much noise
Too many strange voices
Too many different conversations
Too many distractions

Not able to keep up
The beginning of confabulation
Just to save face
And maintain dignity


Kate Swaffer © 2017

17 thoughts on “Alone in a crowd (#2)

  1. Kate, in science/engineering, there is a term called ‘signal to noise’ (SNR) or the ratio of meaningful information content to garbage. Most conversations have a low SNR, and most of your posts have a high SNR.


    • Haha, happy to teach you a new word any day dear Michael! I think it starts, as we feel the need to find ways to ‘fit into the world of people without dementia’, and then the talking to ourselves starts, as we repeat things to try and remember them (not sure what label the academics give that?!). I’m already doing it a lot, in an effort to remember things, and most of the time fail, but hkeep trying anyway. But to an outsider, it would look as if I have really ‘lost it’, when in fact, I’m paddling harder to try and ‘keep it’. There are at least two PhD toics in this comment alone. Love you very much, and alwys thinking of you and how your life with grief and the loss of Gregorys physical presence is going. xoxox


  2. lovely and very moving. I wish you happy moments with loved ones, but accept your witness of these harder times too. Thank you.


  3. Thank you for sharing Kate, I am sure you are not alone & that there are many people with Dementia experiencing the same feelings.
    Sending hugs your way 🦋


    • There are, and we talk about this a lot together. I think this is the power of DAI’s peer to peer support groups too, as we totally understand what each other is feeling, and can do that without words xx


  4. Kate, this is a profoundly moving poem. You moved me to tears. You have a gift for sharing your innermost private voice through the written word. Thank you for being willing to share your private thoughts with us.


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