A chance opportunity to visit an old friend; one I had asked to stop being dishonest to me a few years ago, who then shut the door in my face (not quite literally), seemingly for good. There have been a few failed attempts to heal the relationship, offers of friendship and opportunities to make peace. Silence remains at the end of the line. Not even a special birthday gift for a 50^th birthday with a letter asking for forgiveness, and a request to make peace for the sake of others who it occasionally upsets, released this silent wall. Recently an opportunity presented itself to have another go, in fact to visit in person, and all I got was a brutal and harsh sounding ‘what are you doing here?’ Other friends who were with me quickly scattered into virtual holes in the floor, and nowhere for her to go either as there were other people there too. Eventually an acknowledgement her husband was in his office and I could go in to say hello if I wanted to. What a delight to see the pleasure in his face at seeing me, and the very different sounding and vaguely amused, what are you doing here? We chatted with him for ages, enjoying catching up on our mutual families and news. I’m not sure why, but I have lived my life as an open book with my heart on my sleeve, and often have been easily hurt as a result of this. I have also confronted people who have been dishonest or hurtful to me, to their face not behind their back. It has sometimes been to my detriment, but always my choice; being so open or sharing deeply personal things can cause others to dislike you, or rail against you or it can help them love and understand you more. The risk is always there. Being spoilt as a child can make a person incredibly hard and selfish, and also emotionally demanding as they always want their own way. The more spoilt someone is, I think, the worse they deal with change and problems in their life, and they have difficulty with confrontation at any level from anyone. If as children we get used to always getting our own way, then adapting to the fact this is not possible as an adult can be very complex and challenging to accept. And painful, for everyone. Being spoilt is also why some people can be mean and hurtful, as if they don’t get their own way, even as adults, they become nasty and spiteful. I’ve tried hard not to spoil my children too much, but probably have failed at that in many ways (they would not agree, as they have been heard to say they’d like to be one of my cats!!). I don’t want to generalise here, but it often looks to me as if men seem to be better at getting on with each other after a disagreement and I have tried to learn from them about this. They don’t seem to get as caught up in the emotions or hold onto perceived hurts like many females do. There were days I yearned to be more spoilt as a child, but I’m now really glad I wasn’t as not being too spoilt has served me well. Spoiling someone excessively is not really loving them, and can do them far more harm in the long run. As always, none of this is theory, just my thinking for today. All I can say from viewing my two very spoilt cats, is they can be quite the challenge, especially when others have to look after them and often in the middle of the night for me!