I miss knowing the names of most of the bones, muscles, organs and systems in my body and the diseases that may afflict you or me (I was once a nurse so would have known them!!). I miss the names of composers and symphonies, the names of songs and singers. I miss knowing all the ways to cook potatoes and cakes, how to use my hair dryer, knowing what order to put my shoes and socks on, and a million other moments in time. Sitting at a restaurant table, wondering if we have eaten, when in fact we are waiting for the bill… I will either get slim, or VERY fat!!! I was trying to explain the randomness of my memory loss to a friend today, why it is some parts of the pencil drawing are still there, and other parts seem to have disappeared, why I can remember some parts of the puzzle, and have no recollection of others. I have NO idea! But I do know, I miss remembering my girlfriend’s wedding. I miss knowing if I have taken my medication today, I miss remembering if I have kissed my children or husband today, or told them I love them. I wrote the line I miss my memory on my Facebook page recently, and received no comments, likes or anything else! My fart joke however received many comments and likes??? I assume it is just too hard to face for most of my friends? I went to the city today, a shared trip with my husband, a way to reconnect after such a hectic and draining week. I got lost. We left one shop, and stopped to buy a copy of the current edition of my favourite magazine The Big Issue. As I looked down to put it into my handbag, my husband wandered off to another shop, thinking I would follow. By the time I looked up, I was lost! It is ridiculous to think I would get lost in my own home town city, and even harder for others to remember that no matter how easy it seems for me, life has mostly become a major challenge. I’ve decided memory loss is A Big Issue, but all you need is love…
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Hi Kate, thank you for reminding me about how important memories are. I think I have spent the better part of my life and therapy trying to erase memories from my mind. And here you are trying to retain your memories. Its a reminder how intricate our lives are and how all our life’s experiences come together to build who we are. You consistently make me re-evaluate the way I think and live my life. Here’s to you!!! Hope and love Robynx
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dear darling kate, once again you bring tears to my eyes, thank you for giving us your innermost thoughts i/we have no idea how you are feeling or what you are going through. cannot wait for our trip away to KI in feb, what laughs we will have over there with our darlings. keep safe my darling darling friend.
love you to bits n pieces, xxxxx jac
ps hope you get this i sent one before n pc went of for a bit, so here goes again.
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Kate,
You are so articulate in your writings, that I have questioned in my head, your dementia. Yet this item brought back the memories of Joanna losing all those things you mention, of getting lost, of crazy cooking episodes. Yet her quilting and colour coordination (like your writing) kept me questioning.
Jeff
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It’s not surprising that you miss those things – well done on expressing it.
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Sorry to hear no one responded to your post. It has nothing to do with you Kate, and it has everything to do with what is happening in the world right now. We are loosing our country and our rights and freedoms, and I think a lot of people are having tremendous difficulty just dealing with that. It is frightening and consuming many with no more space to take in anything else. They love you and care for you even though they cannot take in anymore sadness. I wish so much you were not going through this, but you are helping so many others at the same time. I hope having this blog to reread helps you a bit to hold on to your life…Blessings….VK
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I am sorry for your memory loss, I wanted to be a nurse, but knew I could never do it because I didn’t have a memory to start with. I’m not trivializing your experience, just trying to understand how frustrating it must be. However, as for the Facebook thing, that’s how it works – I’m not certain about this, but based on my experience, the dumber the things are that you post, the more people will “like” them. I posted a link to a video of dogs eating like people – you’d think I had posted the cure for cancer – tons of likes – even more than the lady who was “going to the mall.” This is my long way of saying, FB is a very warped space. Thankfully, the blogging world appreciates depth.
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