There are many thing to consider and discuss on the topic os music and dementia, as mostly, professionals talk about music and dementia as if it a ‘solution’ to engagement, to loneliness, and so on, in the same way reminiscence therapy is often used and discussed. Music as therapy and engagement is a huge area of research now too, as is reminiscence therapy.

Personally, I dislike the practice of reminiscence therapy, as if you cannot remember what someone is sharing or talking about, it increases the loneliness, sadness and the grief of losing capacity or the loss of memories. I’m sure it works for some people with dementia, but for me, would need to be done 1:1 (and very person centered).

My father in law detested being forced to attend ‘reminiscence thereapy groups’ and almost always said, they talked about ‘such rubbish’, and nothing he was interested in. He despised Bingo too so no wonder we got on so well 🙂

Applying the term ‘therapy’ to every day activities such as music, dance, gardening, and so on, medicalises what people participated in before dementia, because they enjoyed it, and were seen as and referred to as normal, every day activities. Professionals and researchers seem to love medicalising every day activities, as well as normal human responses…

Anyway, a chat on Twitter recently reminderd me of a blog I wrote seven years ago, The canvas of my musical knowledge is becoming blank, which on reading again, I’ve been encouraged to review the impact of not remembering the names of my past favourite music or composers, and so on. In that blog, I wrote,

“The one thing I really miss whilst living with dementia is the increasing deficits in my memory, as no amount of it software can rectify or support me. Spellcheck, and my BUB are there for my language, spelling and maths deficits, and various others supports help a number of things, and even though the amount of support required is increasing, I can still find ways to function in meaningful ways. But, the loss of knowledge of music and composers is perhaps the thing I miss the most, and no amount of support seems to help it. Once, I could play the piano, and read music. Those abilities disappeared some time ago, but my ability, with help, to eventually recall a piece of music was in tact.”

After realising my ability to recall classical and my other favourite genres of composers and music is not in tact, I stopped enjoying or listening to music, in particular classical music, as the ‘awareness’ that I have no idea who or what I was listening to was too upsetting.

In fact, it has taken many years to attend a classical music concert or an opera again, and actually enjoy it again. My ability to taste and smell things has changed too (almost gone), and my taste in music has now changed significantly. Curoiously, I listen to a much more diverse range of music genres, and really enjoy the variety. Thank goodness I didn’t stop loving jazz, as that also makes me dance, sometimes on my own around the house, which may look odd to others if they were there, but for me, is fun!

My husband turned to the ‘dark side’ just before covid took over our world, (i.e., he started to appreciate classical music), and we had begun to attend a lot of classical concerts. This was something I had done regularly in my 20’s (BC – ‘before children’), but when we became a couple I had not pursued it, as it was not enjoyable going to a concert with someone who didn’t really want to be there, and who was obviously there under sufference, and not enjoying it. But then covid then stopped us attending classical concerts, which to begin with, was a huge relief, which perhaps I have not expressed to him. But attending live concerts are back, and we are going often again, and at last, I am enjoing classical music again, despite having little or no any knowledge now of what I’m listening to.

If nothing else, dementia has taught (forced?) me to be more flexible, and to find ways to enjoy things differently.

With loss, comes a new understanding…