Integrity versus Honesty can mean different things to different people. From my perspective, both are extremely important, and the biggest test of integrity, is doing the right thing, when no one is looking, and to me, is what integrity means in real life.
The way we act, not the words we say. Words are cheap. Actions tell us about of someone’s integrity and honesty, and personal responsibility. To help us think it through, I’ve added two dictionary meanings.
integrity
noun
- adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
- the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
- a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.
honesty
noun, plural hon·es·ties.
- the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
- truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
- freedom from deceit or fraud.
To me, integrity in particular, not only means doing the right thing when no one is looking it also means putting others before self in the purest sense of selflessness (except if one is being abused). I’ve probably burnt a few more bridges after my recent snarky blog, but frankly, I’m too bloody old not to say it like I see it anymore, and am no longer willing to stay silent.
Criticism is often hard to take; and it’s easy to take personally. Praise on the other hand, is usually quite easy to accept.
Blogging has taught me to accept it all, the good, the bad, and even the very ugly, and not to take things personally!
So, I have some more thoughts on this, and a question!
Q: Will waiting a few weeks or months to fulfil ones obligations – implied or real – make all the difference to ones own happiness and state of health?
A: Usually not, but it will ensure that those we say we serve or love are not left abandoned, and that others will not be left to pick up the pieces by your walking out on someone or from an organisation, without appropriate notice.
In my experience, it’s usually not wise for anyone to just walk out on their paid or volunteer roles. Unless of course, you have a major health event such as a stroke, or someone in your close circle dies, but even then, integrity means you are absent only for the time needed. If unhappy in a paid or volunteer role, it’s always best for everyone, and I really do mean everyone, to give sufficient notice to the organisation so the people in that organisation can find a replacement you can hand over to.
If you’ve had a publicly known paid or volunteer role, any future employer or client is likely to go to them for a reference, or will read about it online. What we do, online and offline, not only reflects on us, but also on whether we are seen to have integrity, and are honest.
It’s also smart not to burn our bridges by being unkind or unprofessional in the way you leave, including when leaving an organisation. Leaving a marriage is the same, but we often forget that when breaking up and getting divorced, as we are by then ‘out of love’ and sometimes angry with the other person who was in the relationship.
I’m well aware I have hurt people, and some may see me as toxic. I’m also aware I have not hurt everyone I meet, nor that everyone sees me as toxic, and I have helped a great many people too. It is not possible to live, without love, and without occasionally hurting others. As long as it is not intentional, or due to meanness, selfishness, or unkindness, then we just have to accept it, live with it, and move on.
I believe we are all perfectly imperfect, every single day.
