It has been my great privilege to have been a step-parent for a long time. It has been so long, and the bond is very strong, and I never consider him as anything other than my second son. The initial challenge is how to love another person’s child as your own, and I see many ugly examples of when this does not happen. Matt and I were lucky as there were many years when he lived with us full-time as his biological mother lived overseas, giving us the time required to bond deeply. Then when his mum lived in South Australia, he still lived with us half of the time, not just fortnightly weekends as is usual in many cases. It was a blessing to have so much time to get to know each other and to learn to love each other, and the bond is as deep and special as the one I have with my biological child Charles, just different. In some ways it is more special as it didn’t begin with that maternal  instant and eternal love that is automatic with your biological child. That is not meant to demean the incredibly special love and relationship I have with my biological son either. It is easy to become friends, and to share our lives without the normal burden of the usual parental expectations of biological relationships. As with any relationship, there are ups and downs, and we have to work at it, but it is worth every breath of effort to make sure our love is strong, our bond remains deep, and my love for him is completely unconditional, as for my biological son. There is a whole book in this… perhaps I should have been writing about it for my November novel-writing challenge. Maybe next year… but for now, time to go and get back to NaNoWriMo and the last review of my presentation to WordCamp Gold Coast 2011 on Saturday!