A conversation with mum

A couple of years ago, I was talking to a biographer about my early life, and we had a conversation with Mum. It was short, but interesting, and made me realise a few simple things, such as my mother loved me as much as I love my own children and was proud of me even though she may not have told me as often as, or in the way that I wanted. We didn’t complete the task of a whole of life biography, but I recently found the transcript of what we said;

Mum: She was born on the 7th of July in the morning, at the Cleve hospital. I was hanging up the washing when I went into labour, and the hospital was almost 30 minutes away! She was delivered by the Matron at the hospital and was only little – 6lb 3oz.

Kate: I didn’t know that!

Mum: She lost a lot of weight, down to almost 5lb, so I had to feed her 3 hourly, which was a bit of a problem when I was home, but you know, you fit these things in. She grew up to be a very bright energetic little girl. She was always intelligent and she loved school and was always the first up to catch the school bus. She would come trotting down the passage about five am. Although they left at ten past seven, it was a bit early for her. I remember her school report came home in grade 1 and her teacher said …… “I have nothing but praise for this bright, energetic little girl. In every way she leaves nothing to be desired  ….. and I’ve never forgotten it! I have always been very proud of her and she went on with her school life to always do her very best. She has grown up to be a very intelligent lovely woman.

Kate: Yes, I liked school. I think if I’d gone to university as a young person, which I REALLY wanted to as I wanted to be a vet or physiotherapist, but didn’t have the nerve to go and live in Adelaide on my own, or go against my fathers wishes, I think I would have become a very unsociable, nerdy academic! If I had  gone to uni I probably would have stayed at uni. I suspect I would have had a really really different life. So in a way I am glad that I didn’t go when I was young.

Mum: As you know, I think that lots of us have these things we wished we had done or could have done and in the long run it might not have been good for us.

We went on chatting for ages, but sadly this is all that we recorded on that day! Finding it has encouraged me to start writing about the small events that I can still recall, and other incidental things that took place when my children were small. Although my stepson came into my life after he was 5, we bonded as much as a ‘real’ parent and child relationship, and I have almost as many memories of him as of my biological son, just not back to his birth!  These things are not so important when you are young, as living seems to get in the way, but as you age, they are delightful to hear or read. The trick now is for me to find as many memories about my boys as I can, and record them in some way, as I know how lovely it felt having the chat recorded above with my own mum.

8 thoughts on “A conversation with mum

  1. A very lovely and memorable snippet, Kate-your mum sounds so lovely and i know she is very proud of you as i am. Step children are very special too-like biological children.


  2. Kate – beautiful post….. beautiful. I’ve asked family and friends to write me a “memories letter” of things they remember about me etc but it was only a letter …… and only from those that wanted to do it (some didn’t want to do it).

    Kate – are you able to do a video of the memories?

    Because ultimately it will be a lot quicker. You mentioned in a blog post (or was it an email) of how many things you’ve got to do ……. so if you keep filling up you “to do” list with a lot more things then you’ll end up stressing yourself out too much, and as you’ve seen, you’ll end up forgetting to do things, not doing other things properly etc etc.

    Think hard about whether you can do a video ……. even if it’s using a list of points you want to talk about on the video …… know what I mean?

    Good luck with it all 🙂

    Oh – what I get my brother to do for me each Christmas – I give my nephew and nieces an xmas gift and in return I get a “christmas letter” which is a 1 page letter from each child summarising what they did that year ….. and I use it to make up for the fact that I don’t remember much of it (also because I’m not that invovled in it all). Then I put it in a special folder I’m making for each of them because on their firthday I take a photo of them with a “sign” with their age on it so that I also know what they looked like at that age to match against the letter . Easier to see it in the album. But it’s a great idea. And maybe when they’re older (eg. 20 y.o. ) I’ll give the book to them to keep)


    • I love your idea of getting your nephews and nieces to give you a letter each year, and to add a photo of them, if only we did things like that all the time! Lovely advice, thank you xo


  3. When I read this I wanted to cry, It bought back memories of my parents both recently deceased. Both who went out of their way all the time to show me that they loved me. As I have got older I have realised that this is the greatest gift I have ever received. To have loved and be loved.


    • Yes, they are missed by me too, and as you know were my role models on how to express love for each other and their children. Tears are ok too, they would love the fact you still miss them and their memory is still so strong in your heart. We must be sure to let our beautiful boys know how much we love them every single time we are together. xoxox


  4. Hi Kate … lovely story! You can get some really good technology now that converts voice to text, so in essence you could ‘talk’ your stories about your boys instead of typing. Let me know if you’d like more details. Fx


    • Thanks dear, but I was using this software at uni, so know about it already! Haven’t bought it for home yet, but have thought about it lately as it might be easier to get my thoughts out more quickly. Might need re-teachng how to use it again though!! xox


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