Yes, the goal to write something on my blog every day is progressing positively. The sound of 22 days makes it seem such a small achievement since the day I wrote it down, particularly in light of the fact I aspire to keep it going for the rest of my life! And yet for me, to have written something every day is a small miracle, a step closer to greater grace. The energy and time it takes changes each day, yet the effect of dementia is having a brilliant effect on my writing, or rather on my editing abilities. Every time I read my words in order to edit, it is like my first time, and so it seems, it is much easier to see what needs correcting.

This goal to write every day has been momentarily sidelined and seemed rather shallow over the last couple of days as I read a new friend’s blog. She is facing, along with her own community of family and friends, much sadness and grief.  Her words are filled with loss and misgiving, as she tries to wind her way through this path of wretched heartache, a path full of unanswered questions and moments of lost joy. If only I could get out my mis-fortune eraser and take away the pain. Eventually she will heal; the people whom the loss is closest to will heal, and yet for now I’m sure it feels as if the pain will hurt forever. There will be new meaning to life, new ways of thinking to get used to, old ways to get used to losing, many questions never ever answered. New and raw grief leads us to want our old life back, our old happiness to return; it doesn’t tell us we have to get used to a new way of thinking and living, it doesn’t even hint at the prospect of healing. It feels like it will never go away, never get better, and never let us smile again.

And yet, the sun will keep rising, the sky will still be blue and our power to heal each other can still be fuelled by love. I will continue on my journey with words, continue to offer love and peace to myself and my loved ones, and pray for the healing of my new friend and her grieving community.