‘I love you’

Love (2)The following was sent to me some time ago via email from a wonderful friend who lives in Queensland (Thank you VG xox), and as my day has fallen to pieces with regards to finding the time to write something original, and I believe in and love the sentiments, I wanted to share it with you.

Also, I may forget to tell you at some stage, and so I will be able to find it here, and ‘remember’ I have told you. I have spent a wonderful morning with a social group of people living with dementia in Wellington, followed by a visit to one of their local offices, and have been reinspired to speak up, to speak out, and to live my life to the best of my ability.

I love you all, even those who no longer love me or spend time with me.

“One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t ‘anymore’. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more ‘just one minute.’ Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say ‘I love you.’

So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage…..And old cars… And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a ‘keeper’! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way… Now it’s your turn to send this to all those people who are “keepers” in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way.  Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?

I was thinking…I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.

Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don’t love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.  And just in case I’m gone tomorrow, I LOVE YOU.

Live today because tomorrow is not promised.” (Author unknown)

9 thoughts on “‘I love you’

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  4. Hi Kate! Lovely post and just so you know … I love you a whole lot!! You’re a great and kind friend who I appreciate!
    The post is also interesting to me as I have been thinking about the ‘I love you’ thing in my family. I cannot recall a time where my mother or father have ever said these words to me. I’m assuming they do but my relationship with my mother is not great, so I do have doubts sometimes. I did send her a letter a few weeks ago saying that I love and appreciate her and she responded by saying ‘thank you for your sentiments’. This upset me, not because I expected to hear the words said to me, but because of how formal the exchange was. I decided to ask her about how she felt about my letter, so she disclosed to me for the first time, why she has trouble with ‘love’.
    Grandmother, a strict catholic eastern European woman, believed by punishing harshly and beating my mother, she was doing her duty and would go to heaven. She told my mother repeatedly that if she didn’t love her, she would not bother to treat her like this. So, my mother chose to almost despise love, because her experience of love was confusing and cruel. She has also chosen to live her life with a closed heart which makes my experience of love between a mother child difficult.
    I still remember today the day she told me that unconditional love does not exist. I was just a teenager and full of hope and love. I was so sad to hear this at a time when love is all consuming an new.
    I’m glad I spoke to my mother about love. I can’t say it will ever change the relationship we have or make us any closer, but it does help me understand the path she has chosen.

    • Hi dear Felicity, THANK YOU for your love, and friendship. As we know, we have both had our issues with parents, and I am so glad you have discovered why your mother has so much trouble displaying her love. I want to tell you a true story that may brighten the light at the end of your tunnel. My parents almost never told me they loved me, especially my father who also was not shown any love by his stepmother, and whose birth mother died when he was two years old. However, every single time Pete and his parents met or left each other, they hugged each other, kissed each other, and ALWAYS said, I LOVE YOU to each other. This used to impress me no end, and I was almost envious, but in a good way. Then one day a few years ago, I thought, why not try this with my parents. The first time I said it to Dad, there was a deadly silence on the phone, and this strained silence continued for some time. Then one day, he responded in an almost faltering voice, you too dear. A few months later, completely out of the blue, he said I love you, before I had said it to him. I felt so empowered and so profoundly thankful that I was in tears as I replied, I love you too Dad. This display of love has continued between both my parents and me since, and there is no way I could not say I felt truly loved any more. Please hang in there, and be glad for now your mum has shared the depth of her pain with you. As it starts to heal, I feel confident she will more easily show you her love for you, AND I have no doubt at all in my mind she loves you. I love you a whole lot, and will keep you close in my heart forever. xox

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