This is my way. What is your way? There is no right way…
This has been one of my mantras for a long time, spawned by my reading and listening to Dr Wayne Dyer. It has helped me see there is no right way, just the way we choose at a certain time, which might be different to the path you choose. When travelling home from the CBD, it might be possible to find at least 10 different routes, all of which are the right way, depending on who is choosing them! I used to get quite hung up, maybe even fixated (!!!) about having to go a certain route, about it being the ‘best’ way to go, when in fact it was just my way. Not being able to drive has almost killed that one completely… well, almost!
Letting go of wanting everyone to do things or see things your/my way is often quite hard to do, but the older I get, the easier it is becoming. That is not to say this is easy, as we usually want others to see/do it our way! When we start going out with someone, we love their differences, then if we end up marrying or living with them, we often try to get them to start behaving in the same way as us!!! Living with dementia is a hard road, and how we respond to the symptoms, and the ultimate diagnosis is incredible personal and unique to each individual. There is no right way, just the one that works best for every individual.
Kate – I know what you mean …. can I add some points –
– people with dementia at a certain point will NOT be able to control their reactions or actions……… so it’s not in their control and it might not even be best for the individual or those around them.
– as far as “doing things my way” ….. you might be able to do this, but from what I’ve seen, as people age they get ‘set in their ways’ and they don’t want to see a different way or even a better way ……. so you are definately different ….. in a good way!!! I was accused of being like this, especially when I was at my worst (can’t remember it so can’t say anything more). It was actually the source of a lot of family conflict. I was apparently trying to change people all the day with ‘good suggestions’ etc.
I think I’ve totally misunderstood what you mean …… but I won’t delete all of this in case it’s useful.
Sorry if it’s irrelevant because of my misunderstanding!!
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I don’t think you’ve misunderstood at all, and I agree totally with sme of your comments – many people as they age get very set in their ways! I have always tried to swim the other way, but do reaslie there may copme a time when the symptoms of dementia make thi impossible, as I do already become vaguely fixated on strange things. As always, thanks for sharing your insights. 🙂
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Well the way you deal with living with dementia is not only the right way for you but also a huge inspiration to lots of people who hopefully find their own right way of engaging in their own life. xxx
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Ooooohhhhh so lovely to have my husband as my no 1 fan!! xxxx
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