I wrote this letter to myself a while ago when I was feeling very sad and lonely. Writing about how many wonderful people are there to support me has certainly helped me stay positive on the tough days. I have referred back to this ever since I wrote it, and remind myself that committing things to paper is absolutely the best remedy for almost any problem, as you do not have to reply on your memory to recall it. Posting it to my blog today is my way of saluting you all, and I apologise for not naming every single one of you.
“Whilst many friends have left your side, you still have loads of beautiful friends walking by your side. Perhaps listing a few of them for you will help you to remember you can call on them. So here goes, these are some of the amazing and wonderful friends who regularly spend time with you or support you well in other ways: Jacinta, Craig, Jan W, John, Karen, Clint, Robyn, Libby, Tony, Jan P, Jodi, Annie, Robyn V, Valerie, Susan… and of course there are others.
Then there are your school girlfriends, Sue, Trudi, Rosalie, Denise x 2, Desley, Philippa, Penny, Debbie; you might only catch up with them 3-4 times per year, but hey, they are there for you too! As are some of your old nursing friends like Shirlene, Mellie, and Nadia and her partner Brent.
And the Bereaved Through Suicide Support Group and The Big Issue friends I have met through volunteering, Sheila, Diana, Zaree, Jeremy, Hope, Deb and her family…
And then you have loads of online friends, some you may never have met, but all who send you their support on a regular basis – SO MANY I don’t have room to name you all…
And the service providers who support you like Colleen, Clare, Helena, Barb, Norman …
Next are the people you ‘work’ with on various committees or other dementia projects like Faizel, David, Valerie, Eleanor, Glenn, Judy W, Samantha, Angela, Chris, Ron, Ellen, Phil, and many others who have become your friends.
And don’t forget the people with dementia you have met, two in particular who regularly send their support, Richard Taylor in Houston Texas, and iOlanda in Queensland somewhere. And the partners of PWYOD like Jenie, Jenny, Rita and Kathy.
And there are probably more, but they are just not coming to mind right now so apologies to them if I have forgotten to name them!! Compared to some people, you have literally dozens of friends, and therefore there is no reason to feel sorry for yourself.
Pick yourself up when you feel down… and as my friends from Poochera taught me to say, Toughen Up Princess!!”
Wow, i didn’t know you had so many friends that have remained in contact with you, Kate, but so wonderful that they have-makes me so happy-i am so thrilled that so many friends have remained in contact with you-they all sound like wonderful and very loyal people. You are so right-there is always someone who has more friends than us, and there is always someone who has less friends than us. Joining groups is definetly a way to gain extra friends-you can make friends all your life of all different ages. Some of my friends, i only catch up with a few times a year, but hey, the friendship is still there and is not broken and that’s what counts-life is so busy to catch up with friends everyday sometimes, but i always enjoy seeing my friends when i do. I hope to gain many more friends when i get older like you.
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Dementia brings out the real friends, and if you work on it or stay active in your community, it brings a whole new ‘family’ of friends too Sam
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Agreed-just like any illness. Your friends must be so proud of you, Kate as i am.
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It is worth doing Sam… keeps one optimistic and positive xx
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Agreed!
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You are an inspiration to us all, Kate. I admire enormously your energy and will to keep going. How many of us would be able to do it? You raise such important issues in a way that nobody can ignore. With very best wishes for Christmas and the festive season.
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Thank you Vanessa, and all the best for the festive season to you and your family too. Kate 🙂
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Good friends absolutely become your family! Love to you Kate!!
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it is a pleasure to know you and share with you darling kate, i/we feel very privelegd to be mentioned in your blog., you are one very huge tough wonderful friend person to all who know and love you. I think you are the one person who im sure lots with agree with me that can be allowed to have your down days, and by the end of each day you will always pick yourself up.cant wait for friday and we will toughen up together. To the moon and back
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Kate – you forgot to mention your BEST friend – hubby! He performs many roles – husband, friend, confidante, carer, driver, humourist ….. etc etc…..
🙂
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Yes, and my beautiful boys!!! Then I thought, maybe they deserve a salute here on their own? And one other dear friend, Denny, and probably heaps more… 😉
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I count my blessings for having known you!
Thank you for all you are and the truth you share.
Love always,
Deb and family. Xoxo
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This applies to me today – thanks for the reminder
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Always happy to help!! x
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