Seeing you lying there
Through a tiny window
Covered in a pure white shroud
Wishing, hoping, praying
That it was not really you.
Wanting to be close
To kiss your lips
To hold you in my arms
And feel your warmth again
Why did you choose to die?
To scream, to yell, to cry
Was all I could do
I touched you
Cold, alone and dead
And my heart turned to stone.
I wrote this poem after someone I loved took his own life, and felt after the death of Robin Williams this week it should be my Saturday poem. The devastation his immediate family and close friends will feel is almost unspeakable, but speaking and writing about it is what helped me the most. Next week I will share the next poem called “losing Love’, and the week after my poem called ‘Moving on”. It is one of the most difficult losses anyone will ever experience. There is help, for everyone who is feeling suicidal, and if you know someone like this, or you are feeling like this yourself, the best thing to do is to get help.
Listed below are some numbers I have found on the internet, for three continents. If you are living somewhere other than Australia, the USA or UK, then please if you are feeling suicidal, ask someone to help. I also listed a support group in Australia for those bereaved through suicide who want support. If you know of nay support groups in your region, please leave me a comment with the details. Thank you.
Bereaved through suicide?
If you are bereaved through suicide in Australia, you can contact The Bereaved Through Suicide (BTS)Support Group here: Telephone support (08) 8332 8240 or 0468 440 287 or Email: support@bts.org.au
Feeling suicidal?
AU: Call 13 11 14 – 24hr Telephone Crisis Support is a confidential telephone crisis support service available 24/7 from a landline, payphone or mobile. Anyone across Australia experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide can contact Lifeline. Regardless of age, gender, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation our trained volunteers are ready to listen, provide support and referrals. We answer around 1800 calls every day from Australians needing crisis support and suicide prevention services. If you need crisis support call 13 11 14 now. If life is in immediate danger call 000.
USA: No matter what problems you are dealing with, we want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. The Lifeline is a network of 163 crisis centers in 49 states.
UK: Suicidal? Need Help Now? Call 911 or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or
Text Telephone: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889); Military Veterans Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (Press 1); Suicide Hotline
in Spanish: 1-800-273-TALK (Press 2); LGBT Youth Suicide Hotline: 1-866-4-U-TREVOR
Ps. If anyone can add to the crisis help line numbers anywhere else in the world, or knows the one I have listed need updating, please leave me a comment about it.


Sharing this on FB Kate. My niece who’s 22 has already lost a few friends to suicide and felt Robin Williams’ death keenly -another of her friends had suicided just a day or two before. xx
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Hi Lynda, I am so sorry to hear about your niece’s losses… there is a book you could buy for her, which I recommend.
“After Suicide: Help for the bereaved”, by Dr. Sheila Clark
BTS highly recommends After Suicide and has used it extensively in the training of support volunteers and helping those bereaved by suicide with their grief and loss. Copies available from BTS for $20 + $8 p/h; To purchase send an email to support@bts.org.au; The book is also available in large print here. I was one of a group of 5 major contributors, all people bereaved through suicide.
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Thank you Kate. xx
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Glad it is of some help, or support, or helps with understanding… xox
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Beautiful heart felt poem, every word counted in the precise order in which you used it.
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Thanks Sheri…
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Good post Kate…Suicide is very cruel in many ways. The suffering ends for the victim but just begins for those who are left behind. My brother committed suicide years ago and it left its imprint on my life. It never really fades away, you just learn to go on. If we were all living the lives we should be living, doing what we wanted to be doing, being who we wanted to be, all the worlds grief would end. It is time to end the oppression of humanity and free ourselves! Blessings to you….VK 🙂
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Hugs and love to you my friend xox
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Well done Kate – thank you for sharing your wonderful poem about this very personal and painful memory. It is so important to get people talking more openly and seeking help. X
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Thanks Gill… it is a long time ago for me, but I do have some small idea of how Robin’s wife must be feeling. It would be so much more difficult being oin the public arena, with everyone watching and talking about it, as well as all of the footage being shown… such a tragedy when anyone takes their own life xox
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