Saying farewell and giving one final hug to friends (new and old) who respect you, understand you, and whose love is 100% unconditional is hard work. My B.U.B. and I talked about this and I then blogged Wrapped in a cocoon after attending our first ADI conference in 2012; we have talked about it again today as we have spent time with friends, new and old, who get ‘it’, and get us. People either experiencing having the presence of Mr Dementia in their lives, or who are friends who are supporting us through it.
Although we have lost many friends, and have no close immediate family who offer us any support, apart from some aunts and cousins from afar, we are truly lucky to have friends we love, and who love us. It does, indeed, make saying goodbye that much harder, but hopefully, we will all meet up again. For those of us living with dementia, of course, we do worry we might not remember our family or friends into the future, but, they will remember us, so not all is lost…we may be changing, but we are always, 100%, still here.
Hey doll- we’ll never forget the feel of the hugs or the sounds of each one’s laughter, no matter where/how we all end up. xx
Thanks doll! it has been fab spending time with you both too… xox
Whew!!! Thought you were stopping blogging. I am so glad to hear you are continuing, for now anyway! Glad you are still with us and we are always with YOU! Hugs and love…VK ❤ 🙂
Thanks VK… love you being part of my life too xox
I just “found” your blog and love your thoughts. Would you please tell me what B.U.B. means?
It is the term I call my husband instead of ‘carer’ – Back Up Brain!
We both dislike the term carer, as he always says he cared for me long before I had dementia, and to be called a carer strips him of his other roles, and it also takes away my power.
Thank you, that’s so much nicer!
Oh thats good I have learned so much from you and it has made me a better nurse. You are an inspirational lady xxoo.
Lovely to hear that Cathie… keep up your great work x
Kate – about your last sentence …….
By the time the person with dementia is at the stage of not remembering faces anymore and in a nursing home many, if not all of their friends will have stopped visiting for reasons like that the dementia is very confronting, the patient is non-responsive and the nature of the relationship has changed. After all, they are/were a friend, not a baby-sitter or entertainer. And will come a day when they are basically “gone” even if they aren’t physically gone.
Thanks for your thoughts dear friend… personally, I disagree with you on the notion we are ‘gone’, as although people with dementia have changed, they are still all there. Even after we die, we are in some ways still there, as if we have family or friends who love us, we will live on in their memories and hearts. X
How true.
Yep! and I can hardly wait to see you tonight xox
Kate are you closing your blog?
No, not closing my blog, for now anyway, but saying farewell to my friends, especially the ones who have been with me from overseas the last two weeks! sorry to confuse you… x