Unexpected consequences

It was recently Father’s Day in Australia, which for me, is possibly the the equal worst day of the year. For those of us who’s parents are or were abusive, it is not a great day. It actually hurts when the loving relationships are so publicly highlighted as if all relationships between children and parents or siblings are happy and loving.

Of course, many of the special family celebrations which the media highlight are wonderful and positive experiences for those celebarting them, but often, they are really painful for many of us as well.

I find these highly publicly celebrated occasions so painful and sad I would prefer to hide in a cave until they are over. 

Many of my friends feel equally but differently sad as they mourn the loss of a parent they loved on these days, and who did not abuse them.

It’s tough on both sides of this particular fence. The difference for them, is they remember and mourn the love they had.

For the rest of us, we remember the abuse, and this is the unexpected consequences one of public marketing campaigns like this.


8 thoughts on “Unexpected consequences

  1. I do agree, but I must say you are brave to say it out loud that some of us hurt inside to see the celebrations on Father’s Day. Specially when the person has been abusive to children as well as wife and women around him. 😔


  2. I’m so sorry you have these painful memories Kate. I used to love Christmas, always happy family get togethers. Now they are lonely times, though I try to concentrate on the good times. Recognition of the fact that national holidays are often difficult for those either living alone, cognitively challenged or mourning during these times, is why I was so eager for DAI to offer support to members who were experiencing extra pressures when expected to be ultra jolly xx. Thanks for sharing 😘


  3. Kate, Nicely said. Since both my mom and dad (not to mention Gregory) have “gone home” I find I resent the marketing of love for family. When I get an e-mail saying something like, “Don’t forget to get a great gift for dad!” I usually say out lout, ” F*ck You, he’s dead!” I understand that it is important to celebrate mother’s, father’s, and lovers (spouses) but maybe it could be done more thoughtfully! Love you. Michael


  4. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I think a lot of these public celebrations are based on idealistic ideas. Life however is subjective and one size doesn’t fit all. x


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