I was chatting to a male friend whose wife has gone to live overseas for a few months with one of their children for a cultural experience. He works full-time, and is now looking after the rest of the family and their home, almost as if he were a single dad. Our conversation covered a lot of ground, from his having to get up at 5am and then not getting to bed until about 11pm most days just to keep up with the daily chores and events. Even then, he said, there is still washing to be done and dozens of other tasks that just stay on the waiting list. A renewed appreciation of his wife is evident as he manages all of his days, as, I suspect, he eagerly awaits their return. I knew from my own experience, and those of dozens of other mothers I know, that many mothers take on a much bigger role and therefore load in looking after the family and home than most men, and on top of that are usually expected to work outside of the home.

I told the story of when I was working more than full-time running my own businesses, and doing most of the home and childcare, and the conversations I used to have with my gp and physio… a time when we seriously considered employing someone as our shared ‘wife’ to take on some of the load. I’m sure it would have worked, if we’d been able to find a woman crazy enough to take over that load for three families!!!

The Germaine Greers of the world and other early women’s libbers like her have mostly just made the lives of women a lot harder, and yet still no real equality. We don’t earn equal pay for equal work, nor achieve equal status in many cases.

Men are amazing, and their primate role as ‘provider for their families’ is onerous, one that only a single mother could even partially understand. The difference is, this is usually their primary role as the women in their lives more often than not look after the rest. It was not until my own husband left the corporate sector did he even consider organising the child minder for a function, and a thousand other caring duties previously organised by me.

And so, I am singing the praises of mothers, and of the great men and fathers who choose to spend time in their shoes.