When I realised I had set myself up to write two blogs per day for 366 days, it was difficult to imagine what I would write about for each one, and I also wondered how on earth I would find enough to write about. The Daily blog continues to be my more serious thinking and writing post, and the Conversations blogs have turned into delightful friendship chats over a virtual cup of tea. Some days I feel a little sad that many friends are too busy for a real cup of tea; perhaps some may not even want a real cup of tea any more as they may not value the friendship in the same way as me. As they say, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a life time, but that being said, I miss the face to face contact with many of my older friendships. I have come to realise the world and its inhabitants (yes, especially the humans) are changing and evolving all the time, and if we don’t learn to accept the changes then we will just feel bewildered and get left behind. Anyway, back to talking about writing two blogs for 366 days… I have been, and hope to always be, a do it now kind of girl, and so having set myself these goals it was necessary to have a go at following them through. I am in the middle of deciding to give up finishing my Honours degree, but have (of course) been wondering does that make me a failure, or dishonour me in any way. I think not, as changing my mind or direction is not only the right decision some of the time, it is the only thing to do. Right now I feel it is important to focus my goals on trying to improve services for dementia and aged care, and to be an activist and advocate for those who can’t, and even more important than that, to spend more time with my loved ones. And I’m not sure completing a course or university degree even counts in the scheme of life, and am therefore questioning if this particular one fits on my current path in any way, shape or form.

The other important goal for me, because of the dementia train, is to write and blog, and being a do it now kind of girl is really important for me to achieve this. As I am less and less able to find the words I need, or to express them as I would like to verbally, my blog and other writings have become my voice. The only way for me, or you, to know what I am really thinking or wanting to say, is to read my blog. My husband and I talk often, and email each other every day, but he says that every day he learns things through my blog, that I have not remembered to tell him. My children are reading stories about themselves, ones they might not have had the chance to hear if I wasn’t writing about them; by the time they will want to hear about them, I may not be able to tell them. In part, this has been possible because of the Family meeting book, which has given me the opportunity to have recalled more than I thought possible, but then to also be able to elaborate on our family history. Having dementia and living with the disabilities and losses it brings, also means I am often emotional about things. What, more than usual some of you will ask!! Yes, more than usual! I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, and therefore feel not only love easily, but pain too. Writing about what I am thinking or want to say also helps me get my message across without any tears or angst. Being a do it now kind of girl, and learning to blog, has been my saviour. This has also given my brain the time and space to learn new lessons, to find healthier ways to communicate and think, and then to write with some level of clarity about it.