The first known use of the word contented according to the free Merriam-Webster online Dictionary is the 15 century, and it means simply that we are feeling satisfied with our life, that we are feeling or showing satisfaction with our possessions, status, or situation; we have accepted the situation we are in, and are happy and satisfied. Another blogger wrote about happiness simply meaning being contented, and I agree they are one and the same, as you can’t be contented unless you are happy and vice versa. Blogging helps me stay happy and contented, as does spending time with my loved ones. Learning to understand and accept the symptoms of dementia have helped me rise above the grief and loss I have felt since receiving the diagnosis, which in turn has allowed me to remain happy and contented with my life. Being involved in my community continues to make me happy and contented, and to think beyond myself, to see the world in a way that offers me insight, understanding and acceptance of my own situation. What makes me happy and contented? Well, not acquiring possessions or having ‘things‘, but rather coming to terms with whatever is on my plate at any given time in my life. It may take a while, depending on what the situation or event is, but getting to understand and accept it has always brought back my sense of contentment and happiness.

I believe loving oneself is the other significant key to feeling contented, and this has taken me a long time. Underneath my public persona, I did not have a healthy self-esteem for many years, in fact until my early to mid 30’s, and because of this I regularly felt discontented, and was unable to find happiness, at least inside my heart. My childhood was filled with many experiences that worked against loving or liking myself, and negative feedback that filled my soul, always told me I was not good enough, or had not done something well enough, probably a large part of why I became a perfectionist. ‘Acting happy was relatively easy, just like putting on a brave face in front of strangers or work colleagues when you are facing something awful, but being happy on the inside is a challenge. Loving myself seemed at odds with many of the things I had thought were important, and for reasons unclear to me (probably pre-conditioning), I felt this act would be selfish, rather than helpful. So can you really be happy and contented if you don’t have a positive self-esteem? Self-esteem is widely accepted as a critical element to healthy development. As a product of personal and environmental influences, self-esteem has been found to mediate the relationships between environmental influences and developmental outcomes. Research has extensively revealed that high levels of self-esteem are associated with life satisfaction, happiness, healthy behavioural practices, perceived effectiveness, and academic success and adjustment, and therefore happiness and feelings of contentment. Therefore it seems to make sense, if you want happy and contented kids, help them develop a positive self-esteem, and if you want the same, make sure your own is intact. And as the happiness chart says, if you are happy and contented, keep doing what you are doing, and if not, then make some changes!