“Choose your attitude. Your attitude is your reaction to what life hands you, and only you can choose that reaction.”

I have had a copy of this poster stuck to one of my kitchen cupboards for ages, finding it useful on the days when I find it hard to have a positive attitude. Attitude is a choice, and it is my choice. It is your choice too, and no matter what life throws at you, you can sink or swim. That is a useful phrase, as if you were tossed overboard at sea, I feel sure you would choose to swim. It makes me wonder why so many people choose to drown (figuratively speaking of course) when life tosses them a challenging opportunity, or illness.

Last night we went to the last concert ever of Tex Perkins leading The Tennessee Four in a night of memorable music playing his ‘Tribute to Johnny Cash’ concert, The Man In Black. The concert was just over two hours of magnificent music interwoven with the story of Cash’s rise to stardom, his fight for survival and his eventual redemption. Johnny Cash was dealt a very tough hand, early in life, but through his music and dedication, and his attitude to life, he became a legend throughout the world. He was the 7th child, and when he was born his parents couldn’t decide on a name, so simply named him J.R. Cash. It wasn’t until he was conscripted and was forced to choose a real name that he chose John (Johnny) aged 19. When he was young, his older 14 year old brother died, and Cash’s father said to him ‘the wrong son was killed’. Living with that must have been truly awful, and when Johnny Cash went into Rehab many years later, he said most of his therapy was grief, to do with the loss of his brother, and the hurt from the comment his father wishing him dead rather than his older brother.

His music, and ultimately his attitude kept him from continuing down the wrong path, along with the love of his second wife June Carter. I feel sure if he had been diagnosed with dementia, he would have continued to sing and record, just like many other famous people. A few other famous people with dementia who didn’t let their diagnosis of dementia stop them include Glenn Campbell, a wonderful singer who is still alive living with Alzheimer’s disease, and others included Iris Murdoch, writer and philosopher, Raul Silva Henriquez, Roman Catholic cardinal, human rights advocate, Charlton Heston actor and political activist and Ronald Reagan. These people, who are or were initially doing well living with the symptoms of their dementia,  and were probably not burdened with people saying to them, ‘you can’t have dementia or you would not still be – singing – speaking – living so well – etc.’ and instead were applauded for their positive attitude and abilities to live with and accommodate the symptoms of dementia.

Ultimately, you are the only person who can choose your attitude. You cannot blame others, or events, or an illness for a negative attitude. It is okay to stumble and be grumpy or depressed about being diagnosed with dementia or any other life threatening illness or event, but you do have a choice about whether you stay like that, or whether you work your way through it, past the grief and loss and anger, and get on with your life in the best way possible, with a smile and a positive attitude. We live until we die, and so we do need to live every day as if it is our last, just in case it is.