Rest in Peace dear Deb Tanner…
Yesterday was the third death of another friend with younger onset dementia. We will attend her funeral over the next few days, and mourn her loss, and support her family and friends, and each other as best we can. With three deaths in as many weeks, it seems I am currently experiencing a deepening grief, and a deafening fear of what is ahead. Somehow I will need to ride the storm brewing inside of myself.
Uncharacteristically, I have booked a session with a grief counsellor from the Palliative Care service team we used for our friend Michael from Modbury Hospital. The nurses and doctors from this particular team were nothing short of amazing, like guardian angels coming to care for Michael, but also to care for those of us supporting him. I’m looking forward to my meeting next week, and in the mean time my private blog is getting quite the hammering, and my tears have been flowing freely.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said the stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. As far as dementia is concerned I have been through them all, and accepted it. There is also the sadness, and with dementia, the fear of your own future. And then every time a new symptom appears or worsens, grief, sadness and more fear reappears. As belledelletres said yesterday in a comment, there probably cannot be grief unless there has been love, or some sort of ownership of something within a relationship. For now, I will be gentle on myself and my loving husband.