Firstly, best wishes to everyone for Easter. It is a strange phenomenon that Christians, celebrate the story of a truly horrific torture of Jesus, and then His resurrection. In reality, I’ve lost my way, and have no idea if I believe in God anymore. Even non Christians get involved in the celebrations, via the commercialisation of religious occasions such as Easter and Christmas.
I am feeling like my blog-tank is empty, in line with my Christianity, which seems to have slipped away completely the last year or so. It is not due to living with dementia though, and a year ago I was really struggling with what I felt was a great loss. Sitting inside a Church still fills my soul with spirit, and I wonder is it simply the quiet and peaceful environment, or is it something or someone still stirring my soul?
I have no idea any more, and have stopped needing to question it. If I was or am a Christian, I believe I live up to the 10 Commandments at least as well as many proclaimed Christians that I know. There are so few who live to serve others, which I believed was an important part of being Christian. Churches are full of people who live hypocritical lives, who turn up for forgiveness on a Sunday, and who preach to others about living according to the rules of whatever Church they belong to, and yet, often, who live lives that are not in line with the teachings of the Bible.
Like my great grandmother, my grandmother and an aunt I spent a lot of time with as a child, I have almost always tried to live to serve others, and hope it is a life that will have been worth living. These beautiful women have always been my role models, and spent their lives serving others, doing small good deeds every day, automatically, and also intentionally. It is a good way to live, and I have always admired the way them. My Aunty is still alive, in her mid 80’s, and still volunteers in her community and Church almost every day. My motto these days is to live so that I don’t (intentionally) harm others, to serve others, and to live with honesty and honour.