Easter reflection

Good FridayFirstly, best wishes to everyone for Easter. It is a strange phenomenon that Christians, celebrate the story of a truly horrific torture of Jesus, and then His resurrection. In reality, I’ve lost my way, and have no idea if I believe in God anymore. Even non Christians get involved in the celebrations, via the commercialisation of religious occasions such as Easter and Christmas.

I am feeling like my blog-tank is empty, in line with my Christianity, which seems to have slipped away completely the last year or so. It is not due to living with dementia though, and a year ago I was really struggling with what I felt was a great loss. Sitting inside a Church still fills my soul with spirit, and I wonder is it simply the quiet and peaceful environment, or is it something or someone still stirring my soul?

I have no idea any more, and have stopped needing to question it. If I was or am a Christian, I believe I live up to the 10 Commandments at least as well as many proclaimed Christians that I know. There are so few who live to serve others, which I believed was an important part of being Christian. Churches are full of people who live hypocritical lives, who turn up for forgiveness on a Sunday, and who preach to others about living according to the rules of whatever Church they belong to, and yet, often, who live lives that are not in line with the teachings of the Bible.

Like my great grandmother, my grandmother and an aunt I spent a lot of time with as a child, I have almost always tried to live to serve others, and hope it is a life that will have been worth living. These beautiful women have always been my role models, and spent their lives serving others, doing small good deeds every day, automatically, and also intentionally. It is a good way to live, and I have always admired the way them. My Aunty is still alive, in her mid 80’s, and still volunteers in her community and Church almost every day. My motto these days is to live so that I don’t (intentionally) harm others, to serve others, and to live with honesty and honour.

24 thoughts on “Easter reflection

  1. Hello dear Kate (and others) – I love the statement, ‘leave your thoughts, but please leave your judgement at the door…’ – however was very saddened to read these posts – for many reasons – especially for the fact that I can see there has been great judgement about/on Christians! The fact is, Christians are human beings too, and church is full of human beings – therefore it is flawed.

    I ‘found’ God when I was older – or should I say, God ‘found’ me (during an incident and saved my life – which I don’t need to go into here), suffice to say, I met with God and am alive because of it.

    God is God and He is love. I know it. I’m not judging anyone here (but am sure to receive comments!!)

    I have not been a perfect christian person – perhaps because I am human, was older, had some horrific things happen along the way, am imperfect and live in a flawed world. I’m doing the best I can but, because of the above and the fact that all of us are imperfect and dealing with our own stuff, I have not always been as kind or as … or …. – insert all the words ‘people’/the public etc like to judge and believe christians should be. Inherent in all of these words is judgement!!? So I find it sad and laughable and, I can’t think of the words at present. So many judge Christians more than I judge them. Thank God for God – He really understands and loves. I know that I am a ‘better’ person than I was a year ago – but am still flawed and will still sometimes be cranky – just like anyone else – although my non-christian husband of 26 years tells me that I am always kind. We are all doing our best…

    Thanks, and God bless you! I pray that you will all know God as He is. I pray that you will experience His love and His presence. Not trying to ‘convert’ you – just letting you be. Just letting you know what I know, not just what I think.


    • Hi Shelley, thanks for your thoughts, and sorry if you felt offended. My blog was not meant to offend anyone, it is simply my experience of many Christians I know being very judgemental, but as you say, many people are judgemental, not just Christians. My blog is also a small insight into my own personal journey of moving away from Christianity, and already, that honesty has lost me some “friends” as they are not able to cope with the fact we are all different, and don’t all believe in the same or any God. I’m happy for you if having God in your life is a good experience… all the best, always.


      • Hi dear Kate, I think you have read my comment incorrectly…I wasn’t offended…I just wanted to point out that the blog note says Leave your thoughts…. leave your judgement etc., but that I felt it was strange to read those words because it felt as though you were judging all Christians plus God? does that make sense?

        Plus when I read the comments from many others, it felt as though they were jumping on the same bandwagon to point out the many faults of Christians, whereas we all have faults and all are flawed in some way – it’s just that Christians seem to be sitting ducks – whereas, because of the years I’ve lived and the life I’ve lived, I’ve had the pleasure(?) of working with people of all and no faiths – and we are all imperfect, however I don’t really ever recall ‘people’ jumping on that bandwagon to criticise and point out their failings – and I read widely.
        Does this make sense?


      • Hi Shelly, I’m not sure… but I am glad you weren’t offended, as whatever I write, is never meant to offend. I’m not meaning to judge others, although am sure I still do sometimes, I try to write about my experiences and thoughts, and beliefs, and they change over time too. Another comment made was simply to love one another… which I think is perfect. Take care, and thanks for replying x


  2. Hello Kate and followers!

    About who Dr. Richard Taylor is, here’s a link you may have missed (I don’t even remember how I’ve got it): after his intense European tour in 2011 Richard stopped at Oklahoma University for a speech and powerpoint presentation, a Webinar, that is. It’s a rather powerful one, I’ve watched it many times, and it’s still online:


    Just posted it back to my Facebook site as well (to search for it at the Oklahoma University website is a bit tricky. It’s less than 1 hour long Enjoy!



    • Letting go has been one thing living with the symtpoms and diagnosis of dementia hasdone for me… it is one way of managing… but so far I’ve moved further away from God… living well, helping others, with honesty and integrity is it for now t seems, which is ok by me! love to you too xox


  3. As with everything we have been led to believe, even religion is a lie, the bible is a lie all to fit the program being waged to secure our capture. Do not get caught! God is real as God is love and love is what will save this world. If we believe in ourselves and our strengths and we live by the guidance of love all will be as it is meant to be. Happy Easter( if there really is one) and blessings & love to you my dear friend…VK


  4. I can relate as soon after diagnosis mum and I got really religious, looking for answers etc. Amazingly, at that time religious people were the rudest to me than others. Within a few years I wwent totally the other way around and now I’m agnostic. I know what you mean about the “atmosphere” when you sit in a silent church, but I believe you’d get that feeling if you sat in an empty museum or art gallery.

    As they say, religion is the opium of the masses. Nothing more.


    • Thanks for reminding me about the atmospohere in places like museums… as you say, it probably has the same effect. In fact, sitting quietly in the garden with Boris does too. Take care my friend


  5. Hi Kate
    I feel exactly the same as you on this subject

    I was brought up as a christian, but these days I am not sure in anything any more. I wonder if its just the way my brain is going these days.
    I have tried to talk to my brother who was a priest, but don’t seem to get through to him how I feel these days.

    I still feel religious, but thats it. I feel the Church of England is now an uncaring orgsnisation in my own view, and have lost interest simply because of the churches attitude these days.

    However whatever ever happens, I don’t think we are any different to many others these days, we are simply trying to work things out with a brain which is failing us


    • Your last sentence is perfect Ken…we are still the same people, questioning life and our futures, the same as we’ve always done! Take care my friend… I really hope we get to meet one of these days too!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello, Kate, greetings from Switzerland! I love to see you/listen to you once in a while at Webinars/Cafés. Last time I didn’t question what I was told in Catholic church, I was 10. From age 12 to 16 I joined evangelical teachings at school. Then I peeked over the fence to what my Jewish best school friend told me about her family’s believes. I finally started to write long letters to an admired friend who was a “Kinderclown” from Holland and used to tour through Europe with his one man theater. One evening, I was 17, he called me from somewhere far away, just to tell me: “You should read Plato!” I was at a teacher’s college at the time, and there I checked out the library. Fell in love with Socrates on the spot! When I learned to know my aunt’s “boy”friend, who was a very educated black man from Kansas – I began to learn about Hinduism and Buddhism … and I finally found, all of these religions/teachings/philosophies shared some core insights, experiences, deeply felt knowledge and wisdom – and there I felt at home. In recent years I’ve been so blessed to talk/write/discuss with Richard Taylor. I appreciate his scientific view to things which so to speak holds my hand whenever I tend to lean out of whatever windows, f.e esoteric ones. He would let me think and figure things out my way, then help me keep my balance. Richard has pulled me out of a hole probably similar to yours, and he has been my very special guardian angel since. May god bless his soul and spirit – and yours, as well! Tina


    • Hi Tina, Thanks for your thoughts. Like you, but perhaps not as lucky as you to have such clsoe contact, dear Richard has been a shining star in my life, a mentor, a friend, and a kindred spirit. I’ve also discovered many of the other philosophies and teachngs, such as Buddhism, Hinduism, and feel inside my heart it is all ok. Thankfully we both have Richard in our lives! Take care always xox


      • Hi, Kate – in April 2011 I have indeed been so lucky to spend many hours with Richard travelling, wandering, sitting together i such intense conversations, I felt just overwhelmed! And then there’s Skype, emailing back and forth, and there’s Facebook to place comments, and now I meet Richard on Webinars and at Café Le Brain. I try to “bring him over here” more and more by translating his newsletters into German – and to talk about him and his books and DVDs with as many “involved” people as I can reach. As it is the case elsewhere, so I hear, to reach Alzheimer’s Associations, even as a member, with messages of a true expert in dementia issues like Richard – that’s most difficult to accomplish. It’s quite frustrating! – When you meet Richard in Puerto Rico soon, please give him a big hug from Tina, “who lives on a foothill of the Alps”! ;Thanks! Tina


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