19 thoughts on “Updated: 20 things not to say to a person with dementia

  1. Pingback: 20 things NOT to say to someone living with dementia | In Home Care Sydney |Live In Care |24 Hr Elderly Care

    • Thank you…. as always some love this list, some don’t care about it, and some dislike it and find it offensive… life is like that. I only worked on this list (which needs a short book to go with it – to include the reasons why not to do or say things, and alternatives). many carers think I am being critical, when in fact, I am trying to show them another way to react and respond to us, that may help us (the people with dementia they are supporting), which will ultimately, and almost more importantly, help them…

      It seems best to do what the late Dr Wayne Dyer did… send the negative feedback to the people who love what you do, and vice versa… after all, it is only an opinion, mine, yours and theirs.

      Hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kate, I applaud your list and do hope you write the accompanying book to explain the reasons as I believe it is so important to all of us. I find your message inspirational and your courage immeasurable. Keep shining your heartlight. There are many of us who are very grateful to you and all that you do to help those with dementia. You are making lives better ~ and isn’t that the whole reason we are all here? Big grateful hugs to you xoxo ♥


      • That you for your positive feedback… I get a lot of negative feedback re this list as well, but that is the balance of life, some agree, some disagree, and some also get defensive, rather than seeing it as possible ways to improve the experience of our care and support, and therefore, the experience of those supporting us. Take care x


  2. Pingback: Dementia: Twenty Things Not To Say or Do | memoryissues

  3. Reblogged this on Forget-Me-Not and commented:
    Here is an updated list from Kate Swaffer – I’m sure there would be many more things, but this list of 20 is sufficient for now. Thanks, Kate 🙂


    • Thanks Denise… it is a never ending list, as I heard someone refer to a person with dementia as ‘almost moronic’ … the list of disrespectful words could go on and on… I’ve tried to include the most commonly used. Take care up there in the warm! Kx


      • Kate we think we’re freezing up here at the moment :o) But I digress – please know there are a number of us on this case regarding language, with, yes, a long way to go. I think things are improving – improvement is just never timely enough when such hurt and offence keeps occurring. xx


      • Thanks Denise… and it is freezing down here, but all relative, my UK friends tell me I don’t know what freezing is! The language debate goes on, and many will support our position, and many won’t. That’s life!! x


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