Learning to love

howtolove_thichnhathahnHow to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of “Interbeing”

Brain Pickings excels once again! I love this blog by Maria Popova, which you can read in full by following the link in the title. I have added a couple of quotes, and some thoughts of my own on the topic of love. It is a positive theme after the sadness of the last few days…

“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.”

I have been very wounded by the experiences of my childhood, and only in recent years have been able to see this, deal with it, learn from it, and heal. Oh, and learn to love and accept myself fully, the final step at least for me. The next quote really resonated with me, as my childhood was not glowing with respect and love between the adults, or the children and this has not really changed, but thankfully, I have. No amount of money or possessions is really love… an inheritance of unconditional love and acceptance is the real and richest wealth in our lives. I am very lucky to experience this with my BUB and sons.

If our parents didn’t love and understand each other, how are we to know what love looks like? … The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people. If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all.

11 thoughts on “Learning to love

  1. Pingback: Ramblings from the past, as I think about 2017… | Creating life with words: Inspiration, love and truth

  2. “You can’t change your parents or your past. But you can create a new path and realize your full potential.”

    You can quote me on that Kate 😉 And I haven’t forgotten about your quotes, thanks for your patience 🙂

    • We all have a responsibility (IMHO) to realise our full potential, and to share whatever gifts we have with the world. Hiding behind painful pasts is not a healthy option, for anyone…

  3. I made a promise to myself ans Sue that our two children would never be treated the way I was all of my life. My parents never showing any affection at all for each other or for us as kids or adults We have little or no money but the kids have always been loved and shown love, which I hope flows on to their children Three weeks before my father died I vowed and declared that I would tell him that I loved him and give him a cuddle. As I was leaving that day I did as I said I would and he was horrified and pushed me away.Like you I have my Suzie and A wonderful ltlle loving family. Our grandson is 14 and over 6 ft tall but he still cuddles his Nan and Pa.

    • Yep, me too Mick, mine have been role models for how not to parent, and how not to love… sort of sad if you think too much about it, but excellent to learn from for how not to be, rather than become the same. You and Sue are obviously wonderful, loving parents and grandparents, and your love for each other shines radiantly xoxox

  4. Dear Kate, I have discovered that reading your blogs leaves me with a sense of acknowledgement that I did right by my beloved Dad. I am constantly on a journey of understanding my life, how, why and who I am, I enjoy the good and bad insights! My family “seemed” happy but when my father was diagnosed with dementia he found the strength to tell me a few truths. Maybe because he and I always had a special connection called unconditional love and respect. I have two siblings and I always hear from everyone in a “joking” way…. You are so different from your brother & sister. My reply now is: Yes I am, I show love, respect, empathy, genuine interest in people’s lives…I have time to spare to give love. I have learned that it’s not my ego at play, I just am. xo

    • I love your comment, thanks for sharing it. I too get told the same as you – “You are so different from your sisters. My reply now is: Yes I am, I show love, respect, empathy, genuine interest in people’s lives…” Very happy to be different. Many of my family show love and acceptance to the neighbours and strangers, but simply do not offer it to each other or to me… I am not interested in anyone who is mean and judgemental, not even a family member… hard that may be, but I probably have enemies who treat me better than some, so it is simply a choice to hang out with people who accept and love me, unconditionally. xox

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