Yesterday was too much emotion for me to write for NaNoWriMo, and a lot of time needed for being with my sick friend and speaking to doctors and family and friends again. I did not have the emotional or physical energy to even consider writing the 2000+ words required for yesterdays November novel-writing goal. Oh well, did anyone die because of this? Of course not! It is possible to catch up today? Of course it is! I’ve written about 2000 words this morning making up for yesterdays drought, and enough spaces in the diary later on to write for today. I still feel confident I will get to my goal by 11:59 Wednesday night. I have reminders written on my hand, on post it notes all over the office, reminders popping up all day on Outlook and my mobile phone. If I keep the goal in my face, I’ll get there. Well, at least, that is the grand plan!

I’ve been thinking and writing a lot about the gift of dying.  Last night my son Charles said he thought I was the happiest he has ever see me. This is in spite of the obvious sadness and grief I have openly displayed about my friend. A year or so ago, a lecturer from university said he had never seen me look so ‘well’, not in the physical sense, but in a holistic sort of way. So is this because of the gift of dying and disease? I think being diagnosed with a terminal disease, and then spending time focused on what you want for what is left of your life is significant. it allows you to put everything in perspective. it stops you worrying about the small stuff, about whether it is too hot or raining today, about whether the coffee served up in the cafe is perfect or not! Who really cares about these things if in the scheme of things, you might not even be there tomorrow to enjoy a coffee, or for me, remember you’ve even had one! Love and laughter, and spending time with your loved ones is all that seems to matter, and the opportunity of this gift gives you the freedom to be true to yourself. Perhaps that truth is the real gift, and the inner peace that comes with it.