The following is a reflection I wrote after my first piece of writing done for a university writing course, writing about a place, and I chose to write about the new place I was in, living with dementia, which ended up being published: “I have chosen my newly diagnosed dementia as a place to write about, and have attempted to start with some critical information to try to grab the reader’s attention, to get them out of their familiar comfort zone. I want the reader to unite with the sadness and the fear I feel about this place, to bring them into my world and that of other people with dementia, in an effort to ensure this place is recognised and acknowledged by the friends, family members and carers of people living with dementia. I have tried to convey my personal experience with facts, as a way of connecting the reader to this place I am calling Mister Dementia. As a new sufferer, I have realised it is becoming critical for my daily existence that the people around me understand how it truly is for me, as that is the only way that anyone around me will be able to be fully, and more importantly appropriately, supportive. My intention is to get you to see the depth of wretchedness and darkness being felt and the sensation of being totally out of control and unable to stop the train. (2008)” It was strange finding this piece of writing in my files, whilst hunting for something else I have written! I’ve obviously felt distressed by the changes to so many of my friendships, perhaps caused by the stigma and shame highlighted in the report I posted yesterday, and find writing is my way of expressing myself. The old friends and the many new online friends who read my blog occasionally contribute positively to the loneliness of dementia, even though I heard on the weekend there are people who find it too sad to read some of the time. My husband and children, when they have the courage to read it, mostly find it helps them understand more fully what is happening, and therefore to be more supportive. I think following the diagnosis I was feeling more distressed about the sense of losing myself, of losing my memories. In a blog I wrote after visiting the Freud Museum in Vienna, I toyed with the idea of not remembering being unimportant, but I think our memories are very significant to our sense of who we are. On the weekend, we spent time with some special friends, and we always take photos of our shared times together, as a way of creating deeper memories. As parents we started taking photographs of our children from the moment they were born and for at least every significant event thereafter; birthdays, Christmas, First day at school, school concerts or sporting events, Graduations, and so on. Many parents take photographs of their children almost every day, carefully logging moments in time for their children. Some write about their children and the events that make up their lives, some paint their lives and moments, some sing about them. It seems our lives are made up of our memories, of the shared times with our loves ones, family and friends. And so, to start losing this ability to reminisce, long term or short-term memories, impairs our perception of self and of feeling valued and worthy. It impacts negatively who we are, not only in the eyes of others, but our own perception of who we are, and of what we are losing, and of who we are becoming. For me, writing as narrative therapy is one of the most helpful activities in this new world I once named Mr Dementia. “Narrative Therapy is a method of therapy that attempts to separate the person from the problem. It is used as a form of community work and counselling and encourages people to rely on their own skill sets to minimize the problems that exist in their everyday lives. It holds the belief that a person’s identity is formed by our experiences or narratives. Because the problem is seen as a separate entity from the person, a therapist can help a client externalize sensitive issues. This objectification dissipates resistance and defenses and allows a client to address this entity in a more productive manner.” Narrative therapy involves a process of deconstruction and making meaning of experiences, achieved through questioning and collaboration with others (in the clinical experience, with a therapist). Using blogging as a form of narrative therapy, the collaboration with others either living with a diagnosis of dementia, or supporting someone with that diagnosis, forms the collaborative experience, and encourages us to rely on ourselves to resolve the problems in our every day lives.