The pain and beauty of grief

Screen Shot 2016-01-23 at 6.36.18 amI wrote the following about grief on Facebook recently, and feel that grief can be the biggest, sometimes the darkest times of our lives, and yet, very often the most beautiful part as well.

“Grief is that devastatingly painful but incredible and beautiful expression of your love … It’s ok and it’s yours and don’t let anyone tell you that you should get over it or how you should feel.
It is self-ish in the sense that it is yours. End of story. No need to compare or worry what others think.  Know though that others feel some of your pain because they love you too.
Sometimes it feels as if no one else understands your grief. Well that’s partly true, but, others love you and would help if they could. Ask them. Tell them what you need. Also remember you may need to grieve alone, at least some of the time.
And others really need to understand this, and that pushing them away occasionally does not mean you don’t need or love them but is necessary for your ability to go on. You just need to be alone. But you will need them to come back too…”
Written from my heart and my experience of love and grief.
Kate Swaffer © 22 January 2016

6 thoughts on “The pain and beauty of grief

  1. Thank you Kate, just what I needed. One of my sisters died Christmas day 2014 and a very close friend is dying in a palliative care unit at present, which has brought to the surface the raw grief of my sister’s death again. Something I cannot share with my husband who has FTLD.

    • I’m glad it was helpful Eve… sharing grief is often difficult, but more so when you want to , and it is to possible. It’s also the reason why I write so much, and my private blog is where it all comes out, especially grief related stuff. You might want to try that, even just a notebook works really well. xx

  2. The 21st of January is always a special day for me: now 40 years since Annette passed. As I said before you couldn’t have published on a better day.

    I enjoyed the day being in the company of our beautiful daughter, Lisa, Her mum would be so proud of what her only child has become. The love she showed for her Uncle John when we went to see him in his Nursing Home, with advanced Alzheimer’s, said it all.

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