As another year comes to an end, and christmas nears, for me, and for many of us, our grief reappears, sometimes in painful and unexpected ways.
To have have loved, means you will grieve…
It if is a first Christmas since someone you loved has died, it will likely be one of the toughest, and I know from experience that first year, gettign throgh the many occasions without someone you love, is hard work. Your first birthday without them; their first birthday not being here; anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, other special moments and days perhaps only known to you.
When my partner took his life in 1985, I was bereft, and it has taken years, even decades, to know I will get through his birthday, or Christmas, without too much pain. Not forgotten, but now much easier to live with the change, a life without him, and also, peace and acceptance of a new life, without feeling any guilt, as if I’d not loved hi, or had forgotten him.
Grief really is very complicated.
Since being diagnosed with dementia, I continue to be hsocked that almost no organisations provide loss and grief support for those of us who are dignosed, but do for our care partners. My blog about the meaning of hiraerth and dementia still feels important, and something that people without dementia, especially those providing care should consider. My experience of living with dementia still feels like an experience of hiraeth.
“a homesickness or longing for who and what I once was, who I used to be, the capacities and memories I once had. I grieve for the lost memories and knowledge, the lost places of my past I can no longer recall and that often cause me to feel disconnected from myself and from the family and friends whom do still have a close relationship with me…
https://kateswaffer.com/2015/10/06/hiraeth-and-dementia/
I’m definitely still missing Boris and Star…
Looking back on my blogs for inspirataion to post something here, I came across a few old ones I have written on grief, and am highlighting them here, in case they are helpful to you, or someone you know who’s doing it tough with their own grief this year.
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