I’ve thought often about the truth of this particular quote, which ironically, although most often attributed to Mark Twain, is probably not by him.
In a funny twist of humour, it also highlights how accurate the quote is!
Em T. Wytte blogs about writing, and I found the image used, and a blog about the inaccuracy of the author of this quote on his website:
If you Google this proverb, you’ll come up with plenty of sites that attribute it to Mark Twain (Goodreads, for one) however, I haven’t been able to find any reliable proof that he actually said it. And while I’d like to be able to say that it’s his quote (there’s something emotionally satisfying about quoting Mark Twain), I like to at least try to use accurate quotes and attributions.
Almost every day, I read comments on Facebook or in articles, books and blogs, or listen to podcasts or webinars, by people who don’t tell the truth about their own advocacy or experience of dementia, or an organisation’s dementia advocacy. It is probably egos getting in the way, as it is (also ironically) often the very same people who will argue vehemently about the scientific accuracy of some fact or research article they might be talking about.
For most people with dementia who are active dementioa-advocates, it’s inappropriate to use the D-word as the excuse, especially when memory for so many other things is not impaired.
There are many examples of people who have plagiarised me (too many to add here), and many friends and colleagues have highlighted speeches, blogs and published articles of this happening over the last 15+ years.
One example from a few years ago was a ‘Dementia Consultant’ who published in The UK Guardian on the topic of language and dementia. Although I privately messaged her via Twitter and email, contacted The Guardian, and contacted her employer at the time, no-one bothered to respond. Her article on language and dementia, she mostly just ‘reworded my words’.
My blog titled, ’20 things not to say … to people with dementia…’ and content including, “…sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’…” vs what Yvonne wrote, “…what not to say to people with dementia’, and “…sticks and stones may break my bones but wordswill never hurt me’…” Much of the content in her piece, are in my articles or in the recording of a speech I made in Perth in 2014 on language and dementia.
Sadly, this article also increased the ignorance and stigma, by claiming dementia is a mental health condition, “Understanding what words to use around people with mental health conditions isn’t easy”. Whilst it comes under the banner of mental health at the World Health Organisation, because if it didn’t, people in low and middle income countries would be denied health care, ‘it ‘dementia’ is not, ever, a mental illness.
Dementia is a neurological disorder, even though some people with dementia will have mental illness.
A good friend and colleague in the UK often highlights instances of plagiarism… Including a few people with dementia they’ve witnessed reading printed blogs from my website, verbatim, at events, as their own speeches.
But as they say, never let the truth get in the way of a good story (self promotion is rank in the 21st Century). I am tired of people plagiarising me, including ‘dementia advocates’ taking the credit for things they did not do, refusing to acknowledge the work done by others (as we are expected to do in research) or, rewording them to make it sound like they did it.
And on the issue of truths, this quote which is so often attributed to Angelou Mayo is not by her:
“People may forget what you say. People may forget what you do. But people will never forget how you make them feel.”
It’s a great quote – and I agree with the sentiment. But even this quote, which I’ve also attributed to Mayo, is not hers. It certainly sounds like something she could have said.
But did she say it?
No, they are the words of Joan Walsh Anglund, from her 1967 book A Cup of Sun.
And this one which is probably more commonly used, and also attibuted to Mayo, “They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.”, is not by her either. It appears we should attribute it to Carl W. Buehner, a high-level official in the Mormon Church, and included in Richard Evans’ Quote Book.
In this rtambling piece, I guess the point is for us all to be careful what we say, and what we believe, and what we hear or read about everything…
Of even greater concern, is that I read misinformation, inaccuracies about advocacy, and other mistruths every day on Facebook and other platforms, as if they are truths, by people who really should know better.
The world seems to currently have gone mad with people believing the fake news, and those of us speaking the truth, being disbelieved and questioned, and sometimes, even attacked.
