I’m a little slow these days, but think I am working things out. Sometimes old friends or family don’t want to be back in touch. Perhaps the years in between contact have been too long, or they think there is no longer anything in common, or they just don’t like you or want to be connected any more. Does it really matter? No. And absolutely no need to stalk them either!! There are thousands more people in the world, and losing ‘contact’ or ‘friendship’ does not make any difference to who you are. I feel absolutely blessed to be connected to so many beautiful people, some closer than others, but all friends just the same. Thank you all for coming into my life, whether it is for a reason, a season, or a life time. This is what I posted on my Facebook wall last night, and I felt it worthy of further comment.
Over the past few years, as I have been maturing, I have felt the need to re-connect with old friends, older family members like elderly aunts and uncles, cousins that I’ve not met before, or not seen for years. Sometimes this has turned into new or renewed friendships, sometimes not. Occasionally, I have not accepted being a Facebook friend with someone I know. Why, I have asked myself. It has only ever been because the person asking for friendship on Facebook has not been a true friend to me, never because I don’t want the friendship. There are people in our lives who may actually love us, or may believe they are our friend, they just don’t treat us like one. These few words I wrote on Facebook, this further pondering, has beckoned me to question friendship, and the many roads and forks it offers us.
So what is being a friend all about? Well, I thought I’d start with what I believe are not part of being a friend. Talking badly about a person, especially behind their back to others, is not being their friend. Stating untruths, telling blatant lies about someone is not being their friend. Being revengeful and envious is not being a friend. Stealing from them is not being a friend, whether it is possessions or their words (i.e. plagiarism). And so, what is being a friend about? Borrowing is ok, as long as it is with permission. Speaking kindly is always a good place to start friendship, to their face, and behind their backs. Telling the truth, always, is the only way forward for friendship. Friends forgive each other, don’t have to see each other all the time, and are there for you when the going gets tough. Loving, caring for, and accepting unconditionally, are the purest goals of all… I hope I am at least some way towards achieving them. Most important, being a nice person to everyone is my preferred pathway, whether we become friends or not. If happiness is the way, then being nice is surely the first step.
I get by with a little help from my friends (John Lennon). Thank you.