A friend and newish follower of my Daily Digest has been lovingly overprotective of me the last few weeks since reading my struggles (thanks Deb xxx), kindly averting too much ‘volunteering’ work from coming my way from one organisation that has my heart forever. It reminded me of my husband the first couple of years after the diagnosis of dementia, who very lovingly tried to take over almost everything for me, thinking it would ease the burden and load. It was meant with 150% good intentions, but it disabled me rather than enabled me to function, and worse than that, it took away my motivation to help myself. It was not just him taking over things, I was allowing him to as the prescribed disengagement given to people with dementia and their families encourages this behaviour.

Once we worked out I could still function well, albeit it differently, but with some assistance, and with new and constantly changing strategies to accommodate the symptoms of dementia, we found our way more easily. My university disability advisor taught me how to do this (thanks Jayne x), as she and everyone at university simply treated me as a whole person, and a student with disAbilities. Then earlier this year I nicknamed my dear husband BUB (back up brain) and this helped him more easily understand he did not need to take over for me, or protect me from doing too much. For now, I am usually able to say I need to let go of something, or need help with some things. Occasionally he suggests it might be time to give something up, or I write about how I have had to stop or change some activities.

Writing about the struggles helps me heal the sadness in my heart, and to continue to function as well as I possibly can. On top of that, the love, friendship and support of others allows me to keep finding my way… Thank you.