Weighing up my choices

scalesThere are many days it seems impossible to make a choice about whether you are happy or sad… and we all have to face challenges, the death of a loved one, and other things that can push us into the pit of misery.

I often use an old fashioned set of weighing scales as a visual aid (in my mind), and actively say to myself, will I choose to be miserable about X,Y or Z, or will I choose to build a bridge and be happy with my lot in life. It might not work for everyone, and doesn’t always work immediately, but most of the time, this technique eventually works for me.

To say I dislike having PLOM disease, and I do get it more often than I like, is true! Ps. PLOM disease stands for Poor Little Old Me, and is ok for a while as we adjust to something difficult or a loss or illness, but to stay there, for me, is no fun at all. I also find it hard, even challenging to be around those who appear to prefer to have it more than not. Not that I am intolerant or unsympathetic person, but simply that I honestly believe we all have a choice.

So on a scale of 1-10, 1 being really unhappy, if I slide too far in that direction, I get out my scales, tell myself to build a bridge, and say to myself ‘Toughen Up Princess’, a saying often laughingly said with friends from Poochera, and sometimes even a few tears!

 

16 thoughts on “Weighing up my choices

  1. Hi Kate – I am having one of those PLOM days. Thank you! Your wisdom was there when I needed it. xo

  2. As always Kate, you are truly inspiring. We do have choices and I totally agree with you. Sometimes I take hold of my adult self and give her a good shake but, remembering to be gentle with myself also. Thanks again.

  3. I think that I spend my days in “neutral” ….. just trying to get through all the things that I can manage that day. But then I’m on an antidepressant for treatment of a metabolic disease so this is very likely to stop me getting too upset.

    One thing that does upset me on a regular basis is the fact that I have almost no friends anymore, and the few I have I see once a year. Thanks goodness for the internet!! Now I’ve got one online friend who lives in Adelaide 🙂 🙂

  4. And all Princesses need sparkly crowns with which to cheer themselves on. I have a gold sequined waistcoat which I wear when I feel that I or a situation requires jollying along.

  5. Hi Kate – I like you talking about PLOM syndrome – everyone has it at some stage and if you don’t mind I’m going to borrow that one from you! However I just wanted to say that I find your blogs far from PLOM – they are engaging and interesting and inspiring! Your passion about and effort that goes into living well with dementia grounds and inspires me to support and help my sister to do the same. Thank you x

  6. So true! When I was going through chemo for Lymphoma some ten years ago, my doctor told me, “It is OK to cry … but only for 15 minutes at a time.” If you find you are crying for longer than that call me, I can help.

    Buddhism tells me, “It is OK to sit with your suffering without being judgmental, just sit with it. See if there are any messages in it for you. Then bless it and have it go on its way as you go on your way.”

    Giving into emotions is OK and they tell me, “You are feeling these emotions as a barometer of how you are doing in this situation. Thank them, look for lessons in them, and then move on.”

    If you feel that you will become overwhelmed by your crying, suffering, and/or emotions or do not want to deal with them right at the moment, bless them, thank them, tell them you cannot sit with them right now. Invite them to come back another day when you are feeling stronger and send them on their way.

    This may seem difficult to do but as I practice it often enough it works easily and well for me. Although one time when I was really feeling down and at the same moment I invited them to leave, the fire alarm system in my condo (it was around midnight) went off announcing “An emergency has been noted. Walk to the nearest exit stairwell and evacuate the building.”

    I got dressed, left the building, walked outside back to the lobby, found out that it was a false alarm, went back to my condo, and realized that in effect I was distracted enough that I was feeling better. I told my tears, suffering, and emotions that next time they should leave quietly!

  7. Great little post, Kate. I’ll be off to hunt for my old-fashioned scales in the morning … before the rush starts!

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