Today I want to talk about our attitude, but mostly about abuse, bullying, and what I think being a strong person means. I think being strong has nothing to do with your muscles and braun, or how far you can run, or how you can work for long hours without much sleep. It is about being honest, being kind, and accepting responsibility.
People who are the masters of playing victim, are often abusive, and the abuse can manifest in subtle ways. It is easy to hide behind a screen, and dish out hate and anger, and to blame everyone else for our problems, rather than looking in the mirror?
Most bullies do not consider themselves to be bullies, and data tells us this to be true too. My ex convinced (almost) everyone around him he was not abusive, yet I won the court case for a Domestic Violence Restraining order against him.
One minute ‘they’ love you and ‘miss’ you, the next they are attacking you.
It is almost as confusing for the person being bullied, as it is for the poor dog in the cartoon…
Sadly, abusive behaviours, when attacks are made online or by a direct messaging service such as Messenger or email, are invisible to most people, just like abusive partners do it behind closed doors, and act as if they are ‘perfect’ when there are visitors. I can guarantee this happens, as it has happened to me, more than a few times. Negative attitudes also seem to spiral when the person is abusive.
People with chronic PLOM Disease
They play the victim, which is self serving.
They always seek pity, which is is pitiful.
They always point the fingers of blame onto others, for their own problems, which is self serving.
Stand up and deal with their own problems, in a constructive and peaceful way.
Never attack others for their problems.
Are always willing to look in the mirror.
Strong people look for solutions.
Strong people accept responsibility for their own lives, and everything in it.
Some of the bullies out there are very like my ‘ex’; they claim to love you, even send messages claiming they miss you, but as soon as you engage with them in any way, they attack you again. It is far safer to just stay away, in spite of them telling loads of lies about you, and in spiteof them telling you they miss you or love you.
My ex was the master of that, and it seems there are at three women I know, who’ve perfected his cruel skillset.
As I wrote a few years ago now, The perpetrators of domestic violence and the cyber bullies; they are one and the same.