Social Media traps

social media pinsThe high and lows of social media continue to confound me! I joined LinkedIn some time ago, and get a huge number of requests to connect now from people who I don’t know personally. Because members on LinkedIn profess it is a ‘professionals’ site. What a load of rubbish!!! So many professionals on LinkedIn must be living under a mushroom.

Call me naive, but I didn’t expect to quite get literally blasted on LinkedIn with requests to buy books or promote services, products and events.  LinkedIn is definitely not as professional as members want you to believe.

I’ve been trying to ages to disconnect from many, but have not yet mastered the art of that, and after emailing LinkedIn a number of times about how to do this, and getting no reply, I am now going to have to simply not connect with everyone I do not know personally, even though it is often helpful to us all to connect. As always, it is the few, who make it difficult for the many.

Facebook is another trap, as people with various biases or opinions, join others up in their groups. Initially, ‘un-friending’ someone’ seems rude, but too often they simply want to use or abuse, or, as with LinkedIn, sell a product, book, opinion, or service.

On the other hand, for many people with dementia, not being engaged in social media would mean a very lonely isolated existence, both socially and as far as things like information sharing.

But we are also targets for many people i business, or with hidden agendas.

Being SPAMMED on social media is also rife, and hard to know if someone who is a friend of a friend, is really who they say they are. So, the quandary I am feeling (once again), is should I simply disconnect from all social media, risking deep loneliness, and minimal social contact of any form, or just toughen up Princess, and accept the highs and inevitable lows?

So, social media is a love-hate relationship for me (and many others), but perhaps especially people with dementia. Without it, we would be so desperately lonely we would give up, and yet with it, if we dare to speak up for anything  we believe in, we find ourselves being bullied and harassed.

Of course, I will continue to wonder, are people with cancer who speak up for change, being bullied in the same way…

27 thoughts on “Social Media traps

  1. I’ve found it advantageous to really hone in on one platform and learn the heck out of it. All the ins and outs. Focus on growth. Once you do that one, move on to the next while continuing to manage the first. Then it’s not so overwhelming. AND… you won’t feel like a total mediocre failure either.


  2. I joined LinkedIn and Facebook about 12 years ago, when I was still working, but don’t think I have updated my profile since then. I used to respond very diligently, even with people I had no idea who they were. Now, I ignore any LinkedIn messages and, on Facebook, only correspond with close family, friends, and members of my dementia groups. All unknown requests are deleted.


  3. I agree
    I do not ask people to join these sites I somehow get requests which I ignore as I am not versed in how to use
    I think I’m one off the IT classes It was suggested I join but I never understood it

    Hugs and Rainbows Agnes

    This e mail comes from me as a person with Dementia and does not reflect any views from any committees or boards that I am a member of

    If you expected a reply and have not received one please get back to me

    Oops it’s a symptom of my Dementia



    • Not much point in IT classes, if you can’t remember the instructions or find them too complicated Hey Agnes! ps I always have a giggle at your email footer (included here)…

      “If you expected a reply and have not received one please get back to me. Oops it’s a symptom of my Dementia”


  4. Don’t remove everyone and don’t give in to the negativity and unprofessionalism. You are in control of your connections. There are many easy tutorials on Here is one of many to help you control your connections. Copy the link and paste it into your browser bar. You are in the power seat of this part of your life. Continue to connect with those who read your posts and contribute to your story… be the voice! Diana


  5. Hi Kate
    I have the same issue with Linked in – it seems very odd – and like you so many people I’ve never heard of want to link in. I don’t get it at all!
    Do love my FB though but just for communication with family and friends world wide 😄
    All the best Toni


  6. Good post Kate. I understand your quandary about social media.

    I use social media extensively. I have active two blogs and two active websites in addition to several others which are “dormant.” I also have six Facebook website pages (in addition to my personal account), and six or seven Twitter accounts. I’m a member of five or six FB caregiver support groups and several dementia groups on LinkedIn, and… Tumbler and… Google plus and…

    Obviously, I can’t manage and use all of those to best advantage – I’m overwhelmed and overloaded! However, there is no denying the power of the Internet and of social media. It makes possible connections that would otherwise be highly unlikely or even impossible. For example, I found you as a result of the social media connection. And, while, as you point out, there is a lot of chaff, there is also a lot of good wheat. It’s a matter of separating the two, which isn’t always easy, but which, in my opinion, is worthwhile.

    On a personal level, while I don’t yet have symptoms of dementia, my circumstances and choices mean that I am often more isolated physically and socially than I might like to be. My personal activity via social media connects me to a worldwide “tribe” the members of which are my chosen family, even though there are many I haven’t even met, or spoken to. These connections are essential to my personal health and well-being. They provide me support and social opportunities I need to stay sane.

    There are upsides and downsides to everything. While I understand your frustration, I hope you choose to stay connected 🙂


    • Wow, why so many? I have trouble with one account on FB, Twitter and Linked! I will probably always stay on social media, as would be very lonely without it. So few friends make the effort to call in, it is often almost literally my lifeline to the outside world.


      • They grew organically and creatively. It seems I’m a serial activist 😛 I’m a feminist and I started my first website a decade ago to amplify the voice of women and to recognize how amazing we are. Then I got a FB page to go with it when FB started, and then a twitter account when Twitter started and then… Like that. That’s how I got so many 🙂

        Also I have a never-ending stream of ideas. Sometimes so many I feel like a firework. I would need several dozen lifetimes… 🙂


      • HI Kate,
        Good post and one which I heartily agree with. But don’t give up on social media, just use the ones you either remember ….maybe make a note of the useful positive ones, and do what I do with the rest….hit my IGNORE button in my head 🙂 I do not have dementia, but do have memory problems from having had chemo and taking subsequent meds, I just do not have space for all the chaff. I don’t think you should avoid social media and isolate yourself, but we all have a right to pick and choose. I joined linked in to connect with someone I hadnt seen for 20 years….. since then it is in the ignore bin. People use it largely to further their own commercial interests and as I am not really of any use to them nor they to me, I see no need for it. I understand twitter for some cases, particularly for you as you are an active voice for dementia, but personally have never bothered with it as it seems a bit egotistical to me in the media. When reading your posts, it is easy to forget that you have dementia as you write so well, that damn memory thing must be incredibly frustrating. I am guessing you are a very good note taker? Just in case you have forgotten, I am doing a Bachelor of Dementia care, online through UTAS 🙂
        Stay well


      • Thanks Adrienne… and hoping you stay well too. As you say, it is better to hit the proverbial ignore or delete button in our head, but not always easy either! 🙂


      • Can you unsubscribe from LinkedIn and then rejoin using another ‘title’ eg, K Swaffer or something to do with your book title? Just a thought. I wonder who else may have subscribed to them and have that knowledge. So many professional people appear to have joined and may have also unfriended. Anyway, all the best with it.


  7. I totally agree with you. I do feel social media is becoming too complicated and too many people want to be involved in your affairs. I find this on LinkedIn as more and more people keep asking to be in my circle or what ever it’s called but too be honest it’s getting well over my head these days, so I hardly go there.
    But I am sure we can cut back and still do our best to help others.


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