Feedback… for better or worse

screen-shot-2016-11-30-at-6-51-52-pmWhen I am conscious, I strive to be a nice person, but, I also always strive to tell the truth, and to provide (positive and sometimes negative) feedback on things done well, or comments on things  I may feel or think could or should be done differently. That does not mean I am right, merely that I have an opinion, which is 100% something everyone is entitled to.

I’m also reasonably upfront when I feel hurt or offended – the point being, that it is my feelings I share, and not who is right or wrong. Of course, being up front with feedback or feelings can get me (or you) into trouble!

Occasionally, some friends have said after providing me with (negative or positive) feedback, ‘Apologies for the lecture!’ I responded to one recent piece of feedback and apology for the ‘lecture’ like this;

I like them! It is unfortunate so few can take any form of criticism from others, which is almost never meant personally.

I am always happy to be corrected, to learn more, and always aspire to get it right, so without feedback, that last goal would never happen! 

And with this in mind, I have kept blogging publicly (but not daily, as I used to), not because I am entirely addicted to blogging (hmmmm… please don’t answer that!), but because I love feedback, the good, the bad and occasionally the downright ugly which is sent my way. That is ok; it is after all, only someone else’s opinion, and the nastier it is, is simply a reflection of the person who sent it, and not of me or my work.

A friend of mine many years ago was Judith Barr, who was an ABC journalist and newsreader, and when she ran for local politics more than 25 years ago, she kept a copy of the book What you think of me is none of my business, as the rejections running for politics are quite possibly much more than I have ever experienced here, on social media, or in person. Oh, and by the way, bullying, is not counted as feedback… and I’ve had plenty of that too!

My memoirs, which are in progress, and which will be titled, “Addicted to the truth”, is possibly going to be a book about an addiction which is likely due an over reaction of growing up with too many lies told around me, too many ‘white lies’ to avoid facing up to things that are uncomfortable. I refuse to not tell the truth (as I see it), and realise of course, this is often what gets me into some very hot soup!

34 thoughts on “Feedback… for better or worse

  1. You’re brave, Kate. I have gotten in SO much trouble for gently telling the mild truth that I had to learn to stop it ….. or else.

  2. Hi, I’m not sure if I can “reply” this way but trying…. Loved your blog I received by email Wed.7:25pm on telling the truth. My Dad taught us we can always learn something from anyone else so Listen! Yes, we don’t always have to agree but listening to what others try to teach us, often can end up teaching them something too. Loved your blog. Thanks. Christine Finlay.

    ________________________________

  3. I will look forward to that book!
    And may I quote you on “… the nastier it is, is simply a reflection of the person who sent it, and not of me or my work.”? I think that is possibly the best thing I have heard about nasty comments.
    Kind regards
    Ally

  4. I really like this fresh look at pursuing the truth. I was meditating just this morning on that topic – because it seems that the older I live and love, the more truth matters. I am aghast at the lies I grew up with and the many illusions I built my life to serve. Truth-seeking has to be a noble pursuit. I look forward to reading your memoirs, Kate, and keep fighting the good fight!

    • Thanks Lorrie… it seems to me not too many actually like pursuing the truth, in articular if it means they have to look at themselves. The first place to start, is always, IMHO, to look in the mirror. I had a parenting book, written by the late Dr Wayne Dyer, and in every chapter where he talked about challenges with children, the overwhelming message was ‘ look in the mirror’, so so often children are simply reacting to their situation or parents. It is exactly the same in dementia care – rarely the dementia, more often the response to others or poor care. Take care x

    • I think this one is years away Paulan… I’ve got to finish another one first! Plus the honesty that will begin my memoirs, may get me killed… so maybe I need to wait a while to publish it haha

  5. You’ve been busy my friend. You don’t stop trying to make the world a better place for others and your own life as well. There is nothing like the truth! It is the core of who I am like you I guess. Our recent Presidential election was unbearable as we were buried under lies and propaganda and I nearly went out of my mind. Thank God that is over and change has begun. Hopefully for the better! About all we can do is remain truthful to ourselves and those we interact with and hopefully others will do so as well. We still have a very rocky road ahead but I definitely have HOPE!!!!! Sending you love and hope….VK ❤

    • So glad you still have HOPE after your recent election! I must say, I was glad not to be American! Much love and lots of healing hugs for peace and joy, today and every day xx

      • You got that right Kate, this was not a fun country to be in for the past year. All is well now or reasonably so, as well as it ever can be. This new guy is from the light and brings with him great change for the better. It is why this election was a battle like no other. It was the final battle between dark and light and the dark did NOT want to lose their grip on humanity. They lost and now the light is gathering speed quickly and hearts are being lifted. Merry Christmas to the world! Thanks for your healing. Hoping and praying all is well with you. Be well my friend..
        Hugs…VK

  6. DELIGHTED you’re writing your “memoirs”.
    We’ve not yet had an outright argument, have we? Probably because we don’t talk much politics…you “political atheist” you!
    I love the honesty of our friendship, though we rarely talk for long.xx

  7. I think we all love you for who you are.
    You say just what you mean, and we all know that its coming straight from the heart, yes we may offend people at times, but that’s life, we all do it, but that’s that nature of this illness

    I know that there are times things don’t always come out as they should, but its the thought that counts

    As I was told many years ago by an old Boss in the College, We do our best and no matter what we do, we will never please everyone, so why try

    As along as you remain honest to yourself, you will remain honest to everyone else..

    As we all know, there are people in this world who don’t like the truth at times because it sometimes hurts.
    But in my book that’s all part of life.

    • I agree with your sentiments Ken, and really appreciate your friendship as well, it means a lot to me, and I am so glad we eventually met, and had that lovely time together in the Lakes District. We will meet again… xox

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