Would I want my old life back?

A few months ago, I wrote a poem saying I wanted my old (pre-dementia) life back! I was either having a really bad day or was more sleep deprived than usual.

My life is so much richer since having been diagnosed with dementia, and it has been the third greatest gift in my life.

One of my newer friends, Dallas the Dancing Dude (aka Danger Presley) agrees with me, and he prefers his new life with dementia, than without it. We talked today about people without dementia who seem and act ‘crazier’ than people with dementia, and they don’t have a medical excuse!

Even the really tough days are worth it.

Yes, even on the days when I can’t work out how to make a coffee, or cannot get dressed easily. Yes, even on the says I forget faces and names, get lost, or find at least five cups of ginger tea, all cold, in strange places all around the house.

Seriously, I do feel the gifts of dementia more than make up for the losses and sadness!

  • I now know with certainty who my true friends are
  • I have made a whole bunch of incredible, amazing and fabulous new global friends, my DAI family
  • I now know with real clarity what is important to me
  • In spite of the ever increasing ‘loss of clarity’, I have a new sense of clarity about life that I did not have before
  • My life was turned upside down again, and I found new ways to get back up again
  • I am stronger and more resilient
  • I am better at not stressing over the small stuff
  • Although mostly unpaid, the ‘work’ I do makes a difference
  • I became a regular blogger (for some years, it was almost daily)
  • I’ve written two books, and three poetry books, something I’m almost certain I would never have been brave enough to do without becoming a blogger, which would not have happened without dementia
  • Life has more meaning
  • Dementia has brought me out of the shadows
  • Dementia has taught me how to be a Lion!

For some reason, I needed to remind myself of seeing dementia as a gift today…

17 thoughts on “Would I want my old life back?

  1. Pingback: In The Blogs – December 2018 – When The Fog Lifts

  2. Bless you Kate, I love that you are able to see all the positives in your post dementia diagnosis world. I certainly agree with some of what you say, but can’t honestly say that I wouldn’t like to go back to being a clear-headed, logical thinker, who could organise almost anything (so different to the new me!!!!) Still, it appears that there is no going back, so I will continue to move forward, following the light of you brighter stars, and endeavour to continue to make every day count. Take care, my friend. X


    • Thank you Bobby… I agree, I’d prefer not to have dementia or have to manage the disabilities of dementia! But, once I learned to focus on what I can still do, and see the positives I’ve learned to see my life as richer, and no longer yearn for my old life back. I often miss parts of it though, especially my photographic memory!!! X


  3. I would certainly have the diagnosis this early rather than work and lose precious quality time. It also means we have been able to move to a lovely coastal village where we are welcomed and I know my future so, yes, I am happy too. I can do a bit of campaigning, as can my wife as my carer; Scotland is very good at wanting carers voices.


  4. Dear Kate, you are such an amazing inspiration to so many. I cannot imagine being on this journey without you and Pete. Merry Christmas my friends.


  5. Love all your positve thoughts and reasons for dementia.
    You are a great encouragment to many
    Have a great christmas and a happy and healthy new year!!! 🙂


  6. I’d love to add a few of my own –
    – that you have created and are leading the way for a whole movement of people who are at the most vulnerable time of their lives
    – that you are helping a lot of people feel less ‘lonely’ and isolated with their diagnosis
    – that you are providing a great example and role model for many people
    – that you are a great friend to so many more people now with all your digital way of life

    As for me? My life was great and fantastic before I got sick. I was climbing up the corporate ladder, was talking marriage and kids, great work and social life, and was going to settle down into suburban life. Within a short time I had a relationship breakup, infertility that was very upsetting, moving back with my parents, loss of most friends and seeing almost nothing of the 4 remaining friends …… oh, and over 21 medical problems of which the memory/cognitive problems are almost the least of my problems. I’m talking about 4 different types of pain conditions, 24/7 horrific chronic hunger & thirst, fatigue that stops me from walking much outside of the house …… no – give me my previous life, EVEN if it were to end up without marriage & kids. They would be easier to deal with if I was healthy ….. 😦


    • Thanks for the wonderful addition to my list! Truly wonderful to read; thank you xxx
      Ps so sorry you’ve go so many health issues, and fully understand you wanting your old life back 😥😘😥😘😥


  7. What a lovely start to my day reading your uplifting blog Kate, 😘. Keep aiming for the stars my friend you are an inspiration to me and many others. A wonderful previous mentor of mine (Penny) once told me ‘start by doing what is necessary and then what is possible, suddenly you will be doing the impossible and the world needs more people who specialise in the impossible’ go old boiler xxx ness


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