Think before you speak (write): Is it kind?

In 2017, speaking also means email, texting, sending messages via Messenger, Twitter, Facebook or another form of social media. It seems though, that hidden behind a screen, people have forgotten to think before they speak (write), especially about whether what they say is kind.

Part of my stress this year has been due to extreme and malicious unkindness, but also, the role I have in DAI also means I get bullied or blamed for a lot of things, receive emails that are unkind, and even get accused of having PLOM disease for speaking up for myself.

Please, let’s all be kinder to each other. There is even some statistical evidence for it, which you can read by accessing this article; Kelley, J. M., Kraft-Todd, G., Schapria, L., Kossowsky, J., & Riess, H. (2014). The influence of the patient-clinician relationship on healthcare outcomes: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. PLOS One, 9:4, 1-7.

24 thoughts on “Think before you speak (write): Is it kind?

  1. Pingback: On surviving narcissists… |

  2. Pingback: A Reminder That Applies to All People, Including Our Loved Ones with Dementias and Alzheimer’s Disease | Going Gentle Into That Good Night

  3. Bringing about change is perhaps the most uncomfortable and hostile place we will find ourselves in. It goes with the territory unfortunately. It makes me think back to when race was huge in this country(USA) and Rosa Parks, an African American woman refused to get up out of her seat on the bus so white people could sit down. So outrageous we were even at such a point in our evolvement. Such courage she displayed, such grief she took on, but it created the beginning of change. The pioneers of the world take on great backlash from those who would rather cling to the old for safety rather than embrace the new. So many sick agendas connected to the backlash. If we wear pioneer shoes we know the road ahead will be rough but what makes us different is, we BELIEVE in what we are doing. Stay strong Kate, practice the art of being a duck. What? Yep, learn to let the antagonism roll off your back, do not hold onto it! Hugs to you….VK ❤

  4. What a lovely way to approach communicating – Helpful/True/Inspriring/Necessary/Kind. With Kind summing up at the end. For some reason it reminds me of that saying “the most important thing is love”.

  5. as a person who speaks her own mind,
    i’ve been accused of being unkind
    but what if receivers
    become self deceivers
    while the truth they might seek and then find?

    😛

    • Well now my dear friend Amazing Susan, being unkind if you are being honest, vs being dishonest, that is a whole other blog! Sometimes hearing the truth hurts, and always, telling a hard truth hurts the person who feels the need to tell it. I am learning, many thanks in part to dementia, to make an effort to be less direct and to be more thoughtful with my responses, and most of the time, if I get upset or annoyed, write a few drafts first in an attempt to tone it down. Of course, there are many days I fail but that does not make me a failure! I gather when dementia takes a much bolder grip of me, that may not even be possible… xxx

    • Sometimes, it is necessary to say something that another may not want to hear, but it is always preferable to be kind in our approach. I receive so many ‘blasts’ from people about what I have or haven’t done, what is right or wrong with hat I have or have not done (in their opinions), and on top of that, even if I apologise, old stuff (that I have always apologised for, even when there may have been nothing to apologies for!!!) keeps being brought back to slap me in the face! I guess I was feeling unkindly towards some people, so am the one also very much in need of this reminder to be kind…

  6. THINK….’T’…. true.
    Need some truth, perspective, support, etc in our lives right now. If these positives are there, then there’ll be less power games and libellous situations, as you well know too.

  7. Well said! Everyone should pause before they say, write or tweet. Check resources and ask the questions you posted.
    Thank you for sharing your courageous life. Remember trolls attack because they know they can’t do what you do.
    Much respect, DD

  8. … and being kind helps others feel good and helps you feels good! That doesn’t mean always agreeing or saying what you think they want to hear, but any comments can be made with kindness!

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